Page 54 of Enticing the Elf
“Eoin?” Dáithí calls.
“I’m in here.”
He appears in the doorway a second later, Elsking’s carrier in his hand. “Why does it smell like fresh cookies and tréghel leaves?”
“Because you like both those things. It’s a room-scenting spell.”
The sound he makes is a combination of surprise and delight. “My house is always going to smell like this?”
Shrugging, I get to my feet and go over to kiss him. Nothing will ever be as amazing as the feel of his lips against mine—except maybe that happy smile on his face. “Unless we end the spell, or stop refreshing it. It’s good for a couple of years, but it’ll need to be touched up at that point.”
“Why would I want to end it? You’ve made my house smell likehome.” He bends over and carefully sets down the crate, then throws his arms around me and squeezes. “How can you know what I need when I don’t even know it?” he mumbles against my neck. I wrap him up in my hold and breathe in the precious scent of him.
When he finally lifts his head and presses a kiss to my jaw, his smile is back. “Okay, you’ve managed to make the place smell amazing, and the little bit I’ve seen so far is cleaner than it’s ever been before, probably including when it was brand-new. Let me put Elsking in her hutch, and you can wow me with the rest.”
I let him go and wait for him to?—
“Fuck me, what did you do to the hutch?”
—see the changes I made. “Is it okay?” I don’t think he’ll be mad, but I probably should have checked with him. I figured it would be fine, since he dotes on Elsking.
“Is it okay? Are you really asking me if it’s okay that you built an extension for Elsking’s hutch and added what looks like a super cool multi-level playground made of tunnels?”
It’s hard to tell if he’s mad with the incredulous surprise still so strong in his voice. “Yeah.”
He laughs. “Of course it’s okay! Eoin, it’s incredible—she’s going to love it. I can’t believe you did this.” He opens the gate of the carrier and scoops Elsking out, then sets her carefully in the hutch. We both watch as she takes a moment to get her bearings,then cautiously sniffs around where I took out the back wall and added more space and the tunnel system.
“The assistant at the hardware store walked me through it when I went to get the stuff for the new spice rack.” I don’t tell him why I was asking about it in the first place—I want to do more research first and make sure I have all the facts. And if it turns out my concerns are unfounded, no harm done. Elsking will still be able to enjoy the extra space.
“It’s perfect,” Dáithí assures me as Elsking crawls into the first tunnel. “Thank you.” He loops an arm around my waist and leans against me. “I don’t deserve you.”
Alarm explodes through me, and even though I try not to show it, I can’t stop my body from stiffening. “Dáithí?—”
He straightens and forces a smile. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I think I will, though, because that sounded like the kind of thing someone says right before breaking up.” I study his face, but he’s giving nothing away. “You agreed to give me this chance, and I’m not done with the tasks.” Even as I say the words, I’m aware of how empty they are. If Dáithí really wants to end us and walk away, I can’t—won’t—force him to stay. The challenge is only valid if we both want to be here, trying to make things work.
His shrug is tiny, but somehow… reassuring? “I’m not backing out, Eoin.”
Okay. That’s good. Then why… “You don’t actually think you don’t deserve me, do you?”
He must hear the disbelief in my tone, because his smile reappears and his eyes go soft as he lifts a hand to my cheek. I turn my head to kiss his fingers. “I think it’s more complicated than that. It was pointed out to me today that I haven’t exactly been fair to you.”
“I suggested?—”
“Yeah, but?—”
“Dáithí, we’re both?—”
“Okay, stop!” He’s laughing now, and it eases me to see it. “I don’t want to argue about this. Just know that I’m fully aware of how awesome you are, and I’m trying to get over myself.”
My mind flashes back to what Ari said the other week about Dáithí having been hurt in the past. Maybe I didn’t give that as much weight as I should have—I was so sure Dáithí would have mentioned it, but it could have been too painful to talk about.
Because if it’s notmethat’s keeping him from making a commitment, it has to be him, right? Why else would he say he needs to “get over himself”? And I’ve known him long enough to have seen him in relationships before, so it’s not that he’s got commitment issues… which leaves past trauma. Something that hurt him so deeply, he doesn’t like to talk about it much.
I make a mental note to discreetly ask around and see what I can find out. In the meantime… “Who said you haven’t been fair? Jared?” I hope not. Me yelling at my boss’s boyfriend isn’t something I ever wanted to do.
Relief flashes across his face, and I file that away to think about later too. “Not Jared, Felix. My new bestie, which means he’s allowed to say stuff like that.” He pats my chest. “Now, show me the rest of the place. Let’s start with the spice rack.”
