Page 15 of Holiday at Home
Nora nods but doesn’t look convinced. “We’ll be back the day before Christmas.”
“Exactly. I only have to do this a couple weeks by myself, and honestly? That’s probably good for me. It’ll let me find my new rhythm, you know? And if business is anything like yesterday, that bakery is gonna be everything I need. I can feel it.”
Silence descends between us, each of us lost in her thoughts. Nora blows on her coffee and takes a sip, her eyes widening as a thought strikes her. “On the topic of rugged strangers, I am really sorry about Simon showing up out of the blue last night.” She looks so stricken that I wave my hands like I can erase the entire episode.
And honestly, part of me wants to.
“It’s fine, it really is. What happened between us was years ago.”
Though the way it felt to sit next to him?
To feel his arm around my shoulder as I leaned into his strength?
It was as if no time had passed at all.
I wanted to stay there. To linger. To drink it all in.
Which probably speaks to how hard the last couple months have been because, hello? Self-respect, please? Simon Holiday proved who he is. If there’s anything about him to linger on, it’s that.
“Anyway,” Nora says as if she’s fully aware of my train of thought, “I’m sorry I dropped him on you like that.”
“All good.” I sit back, holding my mug close to my face. “If anything, it highlighted a grudge I didn’t know I was holding onto. Right? Mom would have been quick to point out that Christmas is about Jesus and Jesus is about love and forgiveness in equal measure.”
Nora smiles softly into her mug. “That she would have.”
How many times did the four of us sit at this very table, Nora and me listening to Mom and Dad talk about their faith and how valuable it would be for us as we made our ways through a sometimes dark world. Nora took to those lessons more than I ever did, happily following in their footsteps while I sat back, watching, questioning, unsure.
“Regardless, it’s a good thing, seeing Simon again after all this time. Right? Now I know I can survive it. It’s crazy it took this long for it to happen.”
I trail off. It’s actually incredibly strange we haven’t seen each other until now, seeing as his parents live here. Has he been avoiding me all this time?
That’s awfully presumptive of me. Chances are, he’s just been busy living his rich and famous big city life and doesn’t come home all that often.
He’s probably been avoiding all of us this whole time.
But the question still stands… what changed?
Is he done avoiding Stillwater Bay now?
If so, Iwillrun into Simon again.
Immediately my brain offers a highlight reel of worst-possible scenarios: him and his wife holding hands with two point-five kids and a dog skipping merrily behind them. Me with a herd of cats, slowly growing old in this house while stories of his happy exploits fill the town. He’ll be Santa at the tree-lighting ceremony. One of his kids will play baby Jesus in the nativity. His wife will be part of every charity, the epitome of goodness and light, while my life descends into a daily struggle of keeping cat hair out of pastries.
“The ruminating is getting worse, isn’t it?” Nora asks quietly.
“What?” I shake my head and take a drink of coffee. Maybe, if I stall, she’ll let it drop.
“Your anxiety was always…” She purses her lips, carefully choosing her words. “You were always more anxious than me. But it seems like maybe it’s gotten bigger since Mom and Dad.”
“I mean, yeah, I worry a little more, but that’s to be expected, right?” I lean both elbows on the table and force a smile to prove just how fine I am. “It’s not out of control or anything. With the business opening and trying to get the estate settled and everything else, there’s just a lot on my mind all the sudden. I’m sure it’ll settle down once my life finds a rhythm.”
But what if it doesn’t? What if everything I do is followed by a thousand possible scenarios of impending doom? What if it gets worse and I slowly drive myself crazy?
Nora watches me, and I can tell she doesn’t quite buy what I’m saying, but she doesn’t press. “You know you’re not alone in this, right? I’m here for you. Robbie’s here for you. We’re just one phone call and a quick flight away. If things get too hard, one or both of us will be here in a heartbeat.”
I place a hand to my heart, then squeeze my fingers into a fist, a symbol she and I came up with when we were tiny. It’s our way of sayingI love you always and you’re safe with me.
“I know, Nora. I know. And I can’t thank you enough for how supported you make me feel.”
