Page 20 of Holiday at Home
“I hate thinking of you here, all by yourself, in a house that’s too big and empty. I’m worried about you, I guess.”
Let’s just stack surreal on top of absurd and call it a Friday.
“I’m fine,” I say, “thank you for your concern. But surely, that’s not why you’re here.”
Simon looks at me like he’s suddenly terrified, his hands still buried in his pockets. I realize we’ve been standing in the foyer this whole time, just gazing around my dark, quiet house.
“Do you want to come all the way in?” I gesture toward the living room. “We can actually sit down while you tell me whatever you came to tell me.”
“No, no, it’s okay. Thank you. I just—” He trails off, brows furrowed, chewing on his bottom lip. It’s the look he gets when he’s working something over in his mind, weighing pros and cons. Another dose of bittersweet nostalgia hits my heart. Simon Holiday was always athink before you speakkind of guy. Something about it made me feel safe. Like everything was going to be okay. He was the perfect counterpart to Robbie, who’smoreleap before you look. I think that’s why the four of us always had so much fun together.
We balanced each other out.
Simon swallows hard and gives me another look I can’t quite make sense of. “Have you had dinner?”
My jaw hits the floor and my eyes go so wide it almost hurts. “Are you for really real asking me to dinner?”
“No. Not really. Not like that, anyway.” He holds out his hands as if to ward off the shock and awe he heard in my voice. “What if… and just roll with me here, not to make it weird or anything, but my entire family is crammed into my parents’ house. All of them. And you know exactly how big and loud they can be.”
He tilts his head in a question, and I nod. The Holiday gatherings are still some of my favorite memories, everyone laughing, talking, arguing, not a dark corner or quiet moment to be seen anywhere.
“Something about you being here by yourself doesn’t sit right with me,” Simon continues. “Would you want to come have dinner at my parents’?”
He looks like he wishes he could shove the words back into his mouth even as he says them. And honestly, I wish he could too.
Simon and his family are part of my past. Something I used to love dearly but lost when our relationship ended. I grieved for them all when we broke up. Letting them back into my life only to lose them again… I don’t really have the bandwidth for that.
Besides, I’m tired.
I have to get up early.
I spent all day surrounded by people and don’t have the energy for more.
Except, the thought of seeing Simon’s parents, Nana Holiday, his jolly Aunt Millie is hard to pass up. And the chaos, laughter, and conversation sounds oddly alluring.
“Yeah. Uh, sure,” I say, for no real reason I can explain.
And there it is again, Simon’s perfect smile.
The one that feels like everything is gonna be okay, like sunlight after a storm, like strong arms wrapped around me, holding me up when things are hard. Seeing it does something strange to my heart, this odd nudge of hope I don’t know what to do with, so I do the only thing that makes sense.
Ignore it.
8
Simon
What the actual hell is happening right now?
In my defense, Violet looks just as confused as I feel.
“Okay, well…” I check my watch. “I know everyone would be excited to see you, and Mom’s cooking for an army, so adding one more person won’t be a problem. I don’t know if you want to meet me over there, or we could drive together, or…”
I scrape a hand over my mouth because oh my God,shut up, Simon!
Seeing as I had absolutely no idea I was going to ask Violet to dinner, I have no plan. And without a plan, I don’t have the first clue what to do next.
I sound like an idiot.
