Page 62 of Holiday at Home
Nora tilts her head, giving me a knowing, sad smile. “Ignoring your feelings…? That’s never worked in the history of people being people.”
“What does work, then? Because sometimes it feels like the only way to get through the day is to ignore my feelings.”
“For me? I’d pray over it,” Nora says, then quickly hurries on, “but I know that’s not your thing. And I’m not trying to preach, I promise. Why not just ask Simon what has him so agitated?”
I’ve already imagined too many reasons for his agitation and most of them were terrible. Just the thought of talking to him about it has me yanking open the fridge again to peer inside.
“What good would that do?” I ask the half-finished bottle of wine from dinner.
“All kinds of good.” Nora’s voice is quiet but certain enough to make me straighten.
“If by ‘good,’ you mean creating conflict and chaos on Christmas Eve,” I say over the fridge door, “then we’re in agreement.”
“Sometimes conflict is necessary.” Nora sucks in her lips, measuring her words. “But only the kind that clears the air—not the kind that burns it. You don’t have to pick a fight, Vi. Just be honest. Talk to him about how you’re feeling.”
She places a hand over her chest and waits patiently for me to process her statement. The peace that always surrounds my twin sister reaches out for me, enough so that I close the fridge door and lean against it.
“Take this from someone who’s spent her whole life worrying. Not every thought or feeling is worth speaking aloud.” I wave my hand to indicate the whole wide world. “Some of it needs to be screened.”
“Fair. But I don’t think we’re meant to do this all on our own. I bring my problems to God first. So often, worries fade. The ones that don’t? I take them to Robbie.”
I start to protest, but Nora holds up her hands and continues. “Again, I know that’s not your thing, but it’s what works for me. And also, just to be clear, I one thousand percent understand why you don’t want conflict with Simon on Christmas Eve…”
“I really, really don’t, Nora. It’s been a hard couple months and the thought of more hard? Tonight? I can’t handle it.”
My sister opens her arms and I step into them. “I can promise you this,” she whispers. “If Simon Holiday ruins another Christmas Eve,he’sthe one who won’t be handle what’s coming.”
I huff a laugh and pull back. “You got that right.”
Movement in the doorway catches our attention and we turn to find Simon. He draws to a stop when he sees us, holding up his hands. “I’m sorry. I was looking for Violet, but I don’t want to interrupt…”
“It’s fine,” says Nora. “We were just finishing up anyways.” She turns back to me, pressing her palm to her chest, then drawing her fingers into a fist before walking past Simon to join her husband and son in the living room.
Blue eyes hit mine with the fullness of forever. He shoves his hands into his pockets and leans on the counter.
“Look, Violet, I—” he begins at the same time I ask, “Can we talk?”
There’s a moment of embarrassed laughter and I consider waving him on and keeping quiet, but something deep inside urges me to speak my mind.
So, I do.
“You’re acting really weird tonight and it’s freaking me out. We don’t really have a great Christmas Eve track record. So, instead of the normal amount of freaking out, I’m taking it to a championship level here.”
“No, I guess we don’t have a great Christmas Eve track record, do we?”
I shake my head, anxiety lurching and spinning through my veins. It’s enough to make me dizzy. “What’s going on, Simon? I can’t go back out there and pretend everything’s okay when I can clearly see it’s not. I just can’t.”
He inhales deeply, then releases a breath. Everything about his posture says he’s preparing himself for something big.
I brace accordingly.
“I haven’t been entirely honest with you.”
Okay then. In the realm of strong openers, that one’s a doozy.
“In what way?”
“I had originally planned to fly from New York to Colorado to meet my family for the ski trip. But I, uh, I came here first specifically to talk to you.”
