Page 43 of Waiting Forever
“Would you like that? Would you like me to find someone else to fall for—to love?”
His chest expands with a deep breath. “You don’t love me. Not in that way,” he adds as if to correct any misconceptions. He knows I love him. He doesn’t think I’minlove with him.
“When we kiss, Nathan… I don’t know about you, but it’s the perfect match for me, everything I crave and need. I’ve never experienced anything like it with anyone else. It’s like you were made for me, and I feel that from just a kiss. Imagine what the rest would be like.”
“You think I haven’t? Shit, Kensi. Why do you think I fucked Harper the other day? To forget about you. And you know what? I failed because I closed my eyes the whole time and imagined it was you beneath me, moaning and calling my name.”
Holy hell. I’m deranged, because that was hot. I shouldn’t be turned on by the fact that he imagined me while he was with someone else, but I am. Totally mental.
I walk to him and lace my fingers with his. My other hand still holds my towel in place, even as I contemplate dropping it.“You don’t need a distraction. You can have me.”
“I can’t. If I hurt you, I hurt your family, too, and mine. I won’t do that.”
“So you’ll what? Be with someone else just to resist me?”
He shrugs. “I’m good at distracting myself. Obviously. I avoided you for three years.”
“That’s not the Nathan I remember. Sure, you were always a player, but not a user.”
“Maybe you don’t know me like you think.”
“Maybe I do.” I bring our joined hands to my mouth and kiss his knuckles. “Maybe I see you stealing glances at my towel, too, hoping I’ll drop it?”
“It won’t change my mind.”
“Because you’ve decided for the both of us?”
Another shrug. “I told you I don’t want to hurt you.”
Anger pricks my skin. “What makes you think you will?”
“What makes you think Iwon’t? Haven’t I already?” He pulls away his hand. “You saved yourself for me, and I walked away. I can’t walk away now. We live in the same house, but I can protect you from a mistake.”
I laugh. “The last thing you would be is a mistake.”
“Your father would say otherwise. Hell, mine would, too. You know this.”
Even with his jaw muscles flexed and the veins in his neck bulging with his obstinance, he’s still the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. “So what?”
“Sowhat?” he snaps. “I’m trying to impress my father by running the downtown branch, so he’ll let me take it over. If he found out I touched and kissed you the way I did in the Jacuzzi, after what happened to you—shit.” Terror slides over his face. “Did someone take advantage of you? Because if they did, and I just touched and—fuck.” He hisses and brings his fisted hand to his forehead, his eyes closing with pain. When he opens them, his rich-brown irises glisten with tears. “Did someone hurt you inthatway?”
“No.” I take a cautious step toward him and caress his cheek. He’s too upset for me to tell him the truth. I’ll wait until another time. He wouldn’t be able to handle what I have to say, and I can’t do that to him when he has tears in his eyes for me. “I promise. They didn’t touch me in the way you’re imagining.”
His face pales. “They?”
Shit. Why did I say that? Chilled by the memory, and the new rage brewing in Nathan’s eyes, I shiver and use it as an excuse to escape. “I’m cold. Do you want to shower with me or not?”
I don’t wait for him to respond. Instead, I stroll toward the bathroom, dropping my towel along the way. Either he’ll chase after me or he won’t, giving us each the time we need before continuing this conversation.
At the bathroom door, I glance over my shoulder.
Nathan’s entire body shakes, his muscles flexed and bulging, as if he’s barely keeping it together. “Your perfect breasts won’t distract me from what you said.”
“But they might distract you enough for you to calm down.”
“My imagination is going in the worst direction possible.”
“Which is why I think it’s best to wait until you’re calmer to finish this conversation.”
