Page 38 of Finally Forever
If a person avoids eye contact, don’t trust them.
Watch what a person does with their hands—if they appear to be hiding something, they probably are.
Watch a person’s breathing. If they seem nervous, be suspicious.
Don’t linger when in public.
Don’t retrace your steps.
He never taught me how to read him. He didn’t have to. I knew he wanted me, and that was all that mattered. Even if I didn’t know, he showed me with his eyes, his hands, his voice, his touch.
Now, I’m blind, guessing what he’s feeling and thinking, wishing I knew the secrettellthat he’s famous for picking out in others. More than that, I wish I hadmySebastian back.
I walk to the cabin and take my seat one row behind Sebastian, afraid if I sit next to him, he’ll get the wrong idea and think I’m coming on too strong. I don’t want that or to scare him. I want him to come to me and learn about me on his own, without being pressured to remember.
I hope my drunken behavior and stripping didn’t ruin that chance.
15
Sebastian
Xavier drives Ainsley and me in the SUV we rented. Snow covers the ground, though nature grows through in places as spring fights to replace winter. Fat evergreens speckle the powdery landscape and the sides of the mountains where the white peaks meet blue skies.
“Montana is prettier than I thought it’d be,” Ainsley says from the backseat, where she sits with her nose practically pressed against the window.
I’m up front, riding shotgun to give myself distance from the blonde beauty. I can’t get drawn into her until I figure out who I am, who I may be for the rest of my life. The Sebastian she knows is dead, like she said. I can’t be who she wants me to be, despite my growing attraction to her.
It’s more than that. She’s unpredictable and charming in a quirky way I’ve never known. That body of hers, which I’ve seen most of, calls to some carnal part of me that possibly remembers her. And those green eyes, so filled with hope, wonder, and desire, are like beacons flashing in the night.
If I take her the way I want, I might scare her. I don’t know what I used to be like with her sexually. The last relationship I can remember was with Marina, and it was built on kinky sex. I can’t imagine this sweet blonde being into some of that shit. I could be wrong. I could ask her, too. If the idea horrifies her, it might help Ainsley distance herself from me—less work on my end. If the idea doesn’t frighten her, I’m the one who will be in trouble. Sex with her wouldn’t mean the same thing to me, which is why I need to be protective when she gets close, for both our sakes.
“Have you ever been here?” she says in that sexy voice. “I never asked you before.”
“No.” I add, “Not that I can remember.”
“What made you pick here?”
“Xavier knows the area and deemed it a safe choice.”
She makes a noise of understanding. “It’s beautiful. Wintery for spring.”
Xavier says, “Typically, the snow starts melting in April. It continues through May and by the end of June, it will look more like spring. But winter has been hanging on this year with the reoccurring storms, so there is more snow than usual. The house we’re going to is higher in the mountains, which also means more snow.”
“Will we be here for that long?”
Xavier glances at me for the answer. “I don’t know.”
She lets out a hushed sigh, the emotions in it loud and clear. Sadness and despair. I can’t say how I know this, other than I must be in tune with her on some level still. The more I’m around her, the more obvious this connection becomes. It’s the oddest thing, knowing someone so well instinctually while having zero recollection of the person.
Xavier turns onto a side road lined with snow mounds, and a log structure that marks the entrance of the property.
“Is this it?” Ainsley asks.
So curious. I don’t want to like that about her. “Yes.”
“Is it a ranch?”
“It belongs to a celebrity I guarded in the past,” Xavier says. “He only comes here once a year and rents it for the rest of the time.”
