Page 95 of Finally Forever
My stomach sours with my upset. I leave the unopened cookies on the side table and choose an action movie to watch. Soon, we’re in the air. America’s coastline disappears outside my window. Will I ever see it again?
My future is uncertain; my past is behind me. I’m alone for the first time in my life. At one point, I craved this. I worked to save money so I could escape to a college in Canada. I didn’t care about being alone. I only had me to worry about then. Now, I have a baby to think about and care for. I have to remember I’m strong. A survivor, and I can handle whatever life throws my way.
32
Sebastian
I stare at the departure times on my phone, checking Ainsley’s flight for the umpteenth time. My stomach fills with dread. “The plane left.” The words feel thick in my throat. I missed her. She’s gone.
Xavier holds up his finger and types on his laptop. He curses. “She was on it.”
“I figured.” My phone slips from my suddenly limp fingers and falls to the table. I’m not giving up, but I thought for sure we would get to LaGuardia before her flight took off.
We tried to hold the plane, to no avail. The damn jet stream is working against us, even though the pilot is flying the plane like we stole it.
“I’m sorry, Sebastian,” Xavier says, his gaze on me, but I can’t bring myself to lift my head.
“It’s not your fault,” I murmur to the table between us. We didn’t try to find a pilot and additional private jet available to take us across the Atlantic. I didn’t think we’d need to.
Xavier’s fingers tap on the keyboard for a moment. “I booked us on the next flight to Paris. First class. British Airways. It lands an hour after hers.”
I nod. It’s our only option. I fucked up badly. She’s flying alone, unprotected, while carrying our child. She’s never flown alone. Even when protective custody flew her to Scotland, a federal agent escorted her. Xavier said she has a first-class ticket. At least she’s comfortable. Nathan said Kensington insisted on first class, and Ainsley repaid her for the ticket. She’s using the account I set up for her. I can trace her activity that way and find her.
Xavier looks up from his laptop. “I have boots on the ground at Paris Charles de Gaulle airport, looking for her. They’ll follow her and find out where she ends up.”
That gets my undivided attention. “They need to stay out of sight. I don’t want them to scare her. She’s intuitive. She’ll know if she’s being followed. I don’t want anything to give her cause for alarm. She could change her plans or do something reckless.”
He nods. “They’ve been instructed to keep a low profile. She won’t know.”
I rub the bridge of my nose and squeeze my eyes shut. She should be here, beside me. Safe. Tension like I’ve never known draws my muscles tight like springs. My leg bounces of its own accord. Between my stress level and guilt, I’m a ticking time bomb. It’s all I can do to keep my shit together.
I did this. I sent her running. If my memories hadn’t returned, I’d be on a flight to Italy instead of chasing after her. A coldhearted asshole. That’s how I acted. She deserves so much better, and even though I’m no longer behaving like an arrogant prick, I’m too selfish to let her go. That part of me won’t ever change. That part of me needs her like an eagle needs wings to fly. I touch the scar on the back of my neck. As soon as the burn my father branded on me—of our family name—healed, I covered it with an eagle tattoo. It was the last tat I got, to remind me that despite my circumstances, I can soar above it all and create my own destiny. I found a way to do that with Ainsley. I found love, happiness, and a reason to fight for a better future.
Once I find her, I will pledge my life and soul to her for eternity. I will swear to be loyal to her alone, love her endlessly, be protective of my family, and fulfill her and our child’s every need and desire. If she doesn’t forgive me at first, I’ll stand outside her door, her window, and wait until she sees I’ll never leave her.
My ears pop, alerting me the jet is descending.
Xavier closes his laptop and packs it up. “They’re holding the plane for us. I have a tram waiting to take us to our gate. They’ll let us in through an employee entrance and board us immediately. We’ll be right behind her.”
“Thank you, Xavier. You’re one hell of a man.”
“Just doing my job.” He grins.
I press my lips together and shake my head. “It’s more than that. You go above and beyond. You put up with my shit for the last month and kept everyone safe. You were keeping us protected back in France and before that. It’s who you are, and I’m grateful.”
His grin widens, appreciation showing in his dark eyes. “It’s nice to have the old you back.”
“It’s nice to be back.” The plane lands with a bounce. I count the seconds until we stop and get off.
Like Xavier said, the tram and driver await us. He greets us and speeds off toward our terminal. Another man lets us in through double doors and up a stairwell. We exit near the gate, as promised, and board the plane.
Xavier finds our flat-bed sleeper seats in the fourth row. Mine is by the window, his in the middle across from me. If I could sleep the entire flight, I would. But we’ve never flown with such little planning. I’m not certain of Francesca’s loyalty to me and the plan, regardless of my instincts. Everything is too erratic. I’ve half a mind to draw Xavier’s gun and force the pilot to push this Boeing 777 to its limit. I won’t, but that fact that I’m thinking shows how on edge I am.
To keep from losing my shit on this plane, I pull up all the videos and pictures I have of Ainsley and me together and watch them, silently praying she’s safe and that she’ll forgive me.
33
Ainsley
