Page 28 of Finally Forever
“I can tell you about us. It might help.”
His fingers curl around his phone in a tight hold.
“Did you look at pictures of us? You have a ton on there.” I slide the stool a little closer to his bed.
“I haven’t looked at any photos.”
“Do you want to? I can tell you about them, what we were doing and where we were, if it isn’t obvious.”
He moves the phone to his chest as if protecting it from me. “Is Xavier with you?”
My heart sinks. Based on his behavior, he doesn’t want to remember me at all. I blink back the moisture burning my eyes and fight the urge to cry. Sob. Slowly, I stand, afraid my legs will give out if I rise too quickly. “I’ll get him.”
“It’s not you,” Sebastian says as I walk toward the door.
I look over my shoulder, a tear sneaking down my cheek.
“I don’t trust people easily. I never have.”
Although not a lie, his mistrust only extends to me. He welcomed Xavier back into his life easily enough. I don’t point that out. It won’t change his treatment of me.
I turn and wipe my tear as I slip out into the hallway.
Xavier stands, a frown forming on his face the moment he sees me. “Shit,” he murmurs. “Are you okay?”
“No,” I whisper, overwhelmed by the torrent of emotions flooding my throat, sinus cavities, and eyes.
With one big arm, he pulls me in for a hug. My forehead meets his burly chest. “I’m so sorry, Ainsley,” he says.
“It’s okay,” I murmur, even though it’s not. None of this is okay.
“I can talk to him,” he offers.
I tilt my head back and lean away. “Thanks, but it’s obvious he doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
“Let me talk to him.”
“That’s why I’m out here. He wants to see you.”
Xavier lowers his hand and nods. “I won’t be long.”
I sniffle and wipe my drippy nose.
“There’s a bathroom around the corner on the right.” Xavier points in the direction.
“Thanks.” I drag myself toward it for tissues and to splash my face with cold water, feeling as if I’m trapped in a nightmare that I can’t wake up from. I never thought I’d suffer the pain of losing Sebastian again. Why would I? I couldn’t have imagined this would happen.
11
Ainsley
Sunlight spills in through the open doors to the terrace, as if spotlighting Sebastian where he sits on the couch, texting on his phone.
He transferred home to continue his recovery and physical therapy after a week in the hospital. Three days have passed since then, and he’s already improved immensely. Even his therapist is impressed. That’s Sebastian. When he sets his mind on something, he follows through—which is how I know his mind isn’t set on remembering the last year of his life.
I keep my distance for the most part, hiding my sadness, and let him do what is necessary for him to heal. That’s more important than our past. For now.
I watch him text on his phone as I cross back and forth through the great room, checking for anything I might want to bring with me when we leave. Candles I bought. Books. Framed pictures of our travels. I’ve scattered them throughout this beautiful French provincial villa. The design has become a favorite of mine. It could be the happiness I’ve shared with Sebastian in the short amount of time we’ve lived here.
