Page 71 of Princess of Pride
She eyes Lachlan with a fondness that suggests they’re close. I can’t picture someone as rigid as him forming a bond with a woman so warm and genuine. And yet, she looks at him with both respect and love.
Pippa’s husband treats his staff the way my dad does—like they’re beneath him. Pippa follows suit, even though she leans heavily on one housekeeper, just like Mom does with Candace. But what Lorna seems to feel for Lachlan isn’t forced or obligated—it’s earned through mutual kindness. Which means he has a softer side. A caring side he doesn’t want to show me except in fleeting moments like this and on the plane when he held me like I mattered. Maybe he keeps it hidden because, unlike Lorna, I haven’t earned it.
If I’m being honest, he’s never actually lied to me. Withholding information isn’t the same. I was the one who assumed he was gay—he never said a word to confirm it. I wanted him to be. It made it easier to agree to something I knew I had to go through with. Dad wouldn’t quit until I was married, and Lachlan didn’t turn me off the way my previous suitors had. It probably helps that I find him devastatingly handsome. Regardless, he didn’t trick me into this. I agreed. I signed the legal documents that stated I would play the role, but instead of upholding my end of the agreement, I ran out of frustration and desperation, needing a break from the chaos and to pretend I had control over my life, no matter how short-lived.
If I don't show Lachlan respect and openness, how can I expect the same in return? My mom devoted herself to my dad.She gave and gave, and she was still discarded. But she was looking for love, and for a time, she had it. I’m more interested in common ground, a friendship that will make living together easier and perhaps help Lachlan to respect me enough to let me live my life like I planned when I agreed to marry him. It’s not like he needs me for sex. He can get laid anywhere by anyone. Who would deny him?
I almost laugh out loud. Me. That’s who?
The thought of him sleeping with or even kissing someone else unravels something dark inside me. I refuse to admit it’s jealousy.
Lorna opens a door that’s two away from the one that leads to Lachlan’s bedroom. We enter a narrow hallway with two other doors. Passing the first, she opens the second. We enter the dressing room connected to my bedroom.
And here I thought Lachlan’s room was the only way into mine.
The door is hidden behind a full-length mirror on a paneled wall of my dressing room. Cool.
“I’ll start the shower,” Lorna tells Lachlan. She slips into the bathroom. Water sounds and cabinet doors open and close.
Lachlan sets me on the round ottoman in the center of the space. He takes me in, my dress, the dirt, my tangled hair, and tear-streaked face. Emotions swirl in his penetrating eyes. That fear from before, turmoil, and something that resembles helplessness.
“Are you all right to shower?” His accent is still thicker than usual, and his tone is filled with tenderness.
It makes me want that tenderness all the time. Would he be capable of giving it? If he did, would I want a life with him instead of living apart? Could I care for him? But that isn’t what this is. Lachlan isn’t offering mecompassion. Fear is guiding him as well as the concern that I’ll do something reckless again.
What happened out there really messed with him.
“I’m fine. I promise.”
He searches my gaze again as if looking for proof that I speak the truth.
Lorna returns. “Everything is ready. Would you like my assistance?” she asks me.
Lachlan straightens to his full height. The loss of his heat and comfort hits me instantly.
I want to pull him back to me. For that reason, I turn away and face Lorna. “I’ll be fine. Thank you.”
He gives her a look, a silent exchange of something.
She smiles warmly at me. “I’ll be right out here if you need anything.”
He wants me watched. Understandable, I guess. As long as he doesn’t think I need mental help. I don’t. I’m not suicidal. I’ll have to make that clear, but after I look less like a train wreck and can convince him I’m of sound mind.
Lachlan nods at Lorna then leaves the room headed for the adjoining door to his bedroom.
“Can I pick out something for you to wear while you shower?” Lorna asks. “Dinner is semiformal. I can leave a few choices for you.”
“I’m expected to go to dinner?” After this? I want to rest and collect my thoughts.
“It’s a small gathering. The usual. Chef Henri,” she pronounces it On-ree, “is brilliant. He’s excited to cook for you.”
I nod. How many times did I put on a good face and attend dinner at home when I didn’t want to so dad could show off his “perfect” family? Countless.
“A few options would be wonderful.” The closet is filledwith clothes of my style and taste. She can’t go wrong. “Thank you.”
I enter the warm bathroom and get a full view of myself in the mirror before steam obscures the surface. No wonder Lachlan looked terrified. I am terrifying to behold. Worse than after my near kidnapping. My pale face, colorless lips, swollen, red-rimmed eyes, tangled, wild hair, and cream satin dress give the illusion of a corpse bride.
Twice now, Lachlan has seen me at my absolute worst. How can he want anything to do with me, let alone be attracted to me?
