Page 149 of Reign of Light
“Weston, please,” I plead, begging that he will see what I see, see the despair etched into my face, and understand why I had to walk away. “Please don’t make this harder.”
“You promised you wouldn’t take it from me.”
My fingers itch to touch the pocket in my vest, because I know exactly what he is talking about.
His ring. The promise I made him on the beach, when he told me that golden band was the only thing ensuring he could stay near me.
I remember the promise, and that’s the exact reason I had to break it.
“I have to.”
“Whatever you think you have to do, you’re wrong.”
I take a hesitant step backward, my body finally able to move under the hold of his commanding gaze, but it doesn’t matter. He closes the distance, reaching for me, and before I can stop him, his hands wrap around my face, the momentum of his walk causing me to stumble backward as his body crashes into mine.
A soft whimper escapes my lips as my face crumbles when I look into his fierce eyes. “You’re getting a second chance, Weston. Don’t waste it.”
“Listen to me,” he growls, and his grip tightens. “I don’t care what anyone before me has ever told you or made you feel, I need you to hear me right now. You are not a waste. There is no second chance because I didn’t lose anything. Spending my life beside you, whether you remember me or not, will never be a waste.”
“I can’t let everything you sacrificed be worthless?—”
“I sacrificed nothing, Lennox.”
“You lost everything for me!” My hands grip his wrists, squeezing tightly as I scream at him, but he doesn’t flinch. He holds firm, the unwavering pillar I’ve relied on for support, who even when I walkedaway from him, still holds firm, letting me rage at him, letting me hurt him.
And I need to hurt him. I need him to be able to move on with his life, to find happiness and not be trapped in the lost world we created here. The only way to do that is by replacing all the love with something else, and making the last thing he feels toward me be pain and hate.
“Saying you sacrificed nothing? That’s bullshit, Weston, and you know it! You gave up your life for mine. You gave up time with my father, your only friend, and you’ll never get that back! He’s gone! You lost your mother, then gave up your life with your father! You walked away from your family here that you could have built a life with, all to serve a crown! How could you say that wasn’t a sacrifice? Everything you let go will not be in vain. I refuse to let it be. And I will not let you continue to lay yourself down for everyone around you. Iamchoosing you! I’m choosing your happiness over mine because you shouldn’t be the only one who only gets to do that!”
His shoulders heave, and his jaw tightens, but his eyes don’t leave mine.
“I won’t stop you,” he grinds out. “I told you it was your choice, but please. Give me my ring back.”
After all that, after throwing everything I could at him to get him to see why I need to do this, he still doesn’t care. He fully accepts it—this stubborn, frustrating man—and can only see the part that will keep him bound to me, living in misery for the rest of his life.
If he can’t see it, then I have to give him no choice. I know what I need to do. Nothing I said has worked, and he needs to be angry. He needs to hate me. I want it to be easy for him to walk away and never look back, to move on and find love. I want him to have happiness, even if my heart is absolutely shattering.
I pull his hands off my face and step out of his grip, putting distance between us and trying to breathe. Squeezing my eyes shut, completely unable to look at him, I pull my shoulders back, holding my head high,and ignore the hot tears streaming down my face as I grit my teeth and push the words out.
“Weston Rowe?—”
“Lennox.”
“I release you.” I choke on a sob.
“Lennox, stop.”
“From your oath.”
“Don’t do this.”
My voice holds firm as I muster all the strength I have left to open my eyes and meet his as I deliver the final blow. “Thank you for your service to the kingdom of Blackwood. You are free to live your life.”
“My oath wasn’t to the fucking kingdom. My oath was to you!” His roar echoes in my ears, and I flinch. It’s filled with the anger I needed, the anger that I will be able to walk away from.
“Then, as your queen, your devotion is no longer needed.”
“You can say whatever you want, but nothing will ever change for me. Ever.”
