Page 153 of Reign of Light
What better way than to wear it for my coronation?
Smoothing my hands over the silk bodice, I press out any wrinkles as my fingers glide down the soft fabric. This time, I refused the gloves, much to Tila’s disagreement, mostly because I didn’t want to sweat through them with all the nerves coursing through me. Although, there are worse things that could happen in front of the entire attending audience.
I invited them all. Royalty and representatives from every other kingdom, every member of our staff, significant leaders from the city and throughout Blackwood. They will all be in attendance, watching me be crowned as the queen.
The castle gates are not closed, not like when my father was king, and I can’t explain the joy and freedom it brings me, knowing I am no longer trapped behind these walls. I upheld the promise I made to myself, never to live a life hidden away again.
Today should feel monumentous. I’m finally able to officially act as queen, and make all the choices for my life I always desired. I’m surrounded by people I have been longing to to meet, and I get to be the one to determine what impression I make. But as I stare at myself in the floor-length mirror, my eyes trailing over Tila’s handiwork, I can’t help but feel frustrated on top of the already overwhelming nerves.
So much depends on today, for the future of this kingdom, and for me. Everything needs to go according to plan.
The sound of the door opening and firmly closing behind me pulls me from my thoughts. I don’t bother turning around. I’m not worried about who is entering my rooms unannounced, because I know there’s only one person who is comfortable enough to do so.
“You look stunning.”
A small smile plays at my lips, and warmth blooms in my chest at the voice. I glance over my shoulder and meet the sparkling eyes that are a mirror of mine. My mother stands behind me, gazing at me, her hands clasped tightly to her chest clad in her own gown newly made by Tila just for the occasion.
No one can explain what happened the night she woke. Alone at her bedside, I clutched her hand, ready to say goodbye, when her eyes opened as if she had merely been asleep, not lost to us for my entire life. I startled her when I screamed for the healers, who came immediately to her room, baffled to find her sitting up in bed with me crushed to her chest, both of us sobbing.
Mother and daughter, finally united after all hope had been lost.
Our reunion was overwhelming, filled with joyous tears and fierce hugs, but was overshadowed the moment she asked for my father, and I had to explain his death.
The month-long mourning period was somber, but while she took the loss of my father so deeply, it didn’t affect the joy she held onto at finally meeting me. The healers helped her come to understand how much time she had lost. Standing in front of her, I clearly was the vision of it, but just as I saw in her diary and her letters to me, she didn’t let lost time stop her. Instead of wallowing over missed stages and experiences, she made every moment we had together count.
I finally got to know my mother during that month of mourning, having spent every waking moment together. This time, I got to be the one telling her stories of my life, of Edmond and Tila, of growing up in the castle. It was difficult for her to comprehend the difference between the parent she thought my father wanted to be and the one he became, but I could see by the look in her eye that she didn’t want my life to continue that way.
And it hasn’t.
Meeting her was like meeting a stranger who understands and accepts every piece and part of me without question, and just as I thought when I read her diary, it was everything I had always hoped for. She is everything I always needed. I didn’t know what a mother was, didn’t know what I was missing, but now I realize I had a hole in my heart that only she could fill.
“What’s troubling you, darling girl?” She closes the distance between us, coming to stand just behind me so I can see her hovering over my shoulder.
I let out a sigh. “How’d you know?” My eyes meet hers in the mirror, and she shoots me a look.
“You’re my daughter. I know.” Her face softens with a warm smile. “Tell me.”
My hand rises as if on its own and presses to my bare chest, rubbing the empty space there. “I can’t find my necklace. I didn’t take it off, but when Tila brought the dress in this morning, I realized it was gone.”
“Did you remove it to bathe? Set it somewhere out of the ordinary?”
I shake my head. “No. I never take it off. It doesn’t feel right to.”
Her brows contort with concern. “Maybe Addy has seen it. We can check with her.”
“I’m afraid I lost it on the training grounds, or somewhere in the city, and there isn’t time to look for it. I just…need it. Especially for today.” Nerves tumble in my belly, and I wring my hands together.
If this was the first issue I had to deal with today, it probably wouldn’t be affecting me as much as it is. Somehow in the chaos of my father’s death and funeral, I lost the dagger I received at my ceremony, and in the time since I buried him, I haven’t been able to find it, despite searching everywhere on the grounds. Mother and I went to the royal blacksmith who created it at my father’s request, and he immediately began work on a new one, but late last night I was informed that it would not be ready for the coronation today. An entire element of the ceremony would be left out, already putting a stain on my first real traditional event as queen.
Edmond would be disappointed in me.
I can’t remember how I lost it, or where I even had it last. I just know it’s gone. And now, with my missing necklace, it seems like the day is testing me, throwing every hurdle at me I have to navigate in a way fitting for my new official role.
“There’s still a bit of time,” she says. “It’s likely nearby.”
I huff out a breath and stare at the space where it normally lies on my chest with the ring pendant tucked into the top of my bodice. I have no recollection of when I got it or where the ring came from. There’s something about it though, a feeling that it gives me, that it’s mine, and I never want to be without it. Sometimes I think it could be my father’s, the last gift he gave to me before a traitorous citizen murdered him, but he isn’t here any longer to ask.
Neither is Edmond. The blow of his departure happened only the day after my mother woke. A letter arrived the morning after, detailing his resignation because of his acceptance of a position in another kingdom, to raise and coach their future heir, as I would no longer need his service as a tutor. His loss during this turbulent time cut like a deep blade, especially because he disappeared without so much as a goodbye, leaving me alone to navigate becoming the queen my kingdom needs from the very start.
