Page 76 of Reign of Light
A sob escapes my throat, and I press my face into his skin, letting the heat comfort me. He wraps his arm around me tighter, and his fingertips brush my scalp, running through my waves and back again.
“I’ll remember where it is if you ever want to go.”
I nod quickly but say nothing. I don’t have to. He already knows.
“I’m glad you got some sleep.”
“Barely,” I croak, and his chest rises and falls under my cheek with a sigh.
“Today was…a lot. It’s alright to feel this way.”
“But tomorrow is going to be worse.”
He pauses. “Why would tomorrow be worse?” I can hear the confusion in his voice, and I realize he hasn’t had the time like I have to lie here, thinking about every single way tomorrow could go wrong, about every possibility that would break me more than today did.
I push myself up so I can look at him to find he’s already watching me, his brows drawn together.
“Because we have nothing figured out. We didn’t think this was ever going to happen, not after the dust was gone. We have talked nothing through.”
His brow smoothes out, and his quiet composure returns. “Then let’s talk now.”
“How can you be so calm about this?”
He shrugs slightly. “Because I’m not worried.”
“How can you say that, Weston?” I say, my voice rising to reflect the panic churning inside me. His arm falls away from my back as I sit on my heels. “How are you not worried about what will happen when we go home? What are we going to tell my father? What are we going to tellyourfather? How are we going to explain to everyone who you are, or where you’ve been, or why you still look like you do?”
“Lennox, the people who need to know, already know. And the rest don’t need an explanation.”
“Sure. Fine. Alright. Ignore that part. Because no one is going to notice that the First Guard hasn’t aged a day in twenty years. What about the rest? My father doesn’t even speak to me, and I’m just supposed to walk back into the castle and say, ‘Guess what? I’m fucking your best friend?’”
“I’d prefer if you didn’t say it that way. It probably wouldn’t go over well,” he says flatly, and I let out a frustrated groan.
“Weston, we have no plan!”
My chest heaves, and my fists clench as I can’t hide the panic any longer. More tears form a lump in my throat as I try to hold them back. I can only imagine how I look after hours of crying, now to be panic-stricken and raving on my knees before him.
But if he sees it, he doesn’t acknowledge it. He just shifts to his knees, walking forward until they press into either side of mine, caging me in and grounding me with his touch. His hands find my face, and he leans forward, pressing his forehead to mine.
“Breathe.” His thumbs stroke my cheeks as he breathes in deeply, then lets the air out slowly, urging me to follow his command. But I can’t. My chest stutters with shallow breaths, and my fingertips tingle with numbness. The edges of the room blur and darken, and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to hold everything back as this overwhelming sense of helplessness and dread threatens to control me.
“Lennox, look at me.”
I pry my eyes open and meet his, finding only love, and no judgment for my inability to control everything I am feeling. It makes the tears want to fall harder.
“Breathe.”
I inhale through pursed lips, and my chest quakes as I do.
“Again.” He pulls back slightly, his eyes never leaving mine as I do as he says. The tingling in my fingers subsides, but it still feels like my chest is in knots.
“It will all be fine,” he says, nodding as I take another deep breath. “I have a plan.”
I blink at him rapidly. “But you didn’t talk to me about it,” I squeak.
He shakes his head. “I didn’t need to because you aren’t part of it.”
I pull back slightly, my jaw falling open as his lips tip up at the corners when he registers my surprise.
