Page 121 of Reign of Light
“Nothing with you ever feels wrong, Lennox.” His teal eyes bore into mine, and I latch onto them and stare back.
“That’s not what I mean.”
There’s a flash of hurt in his eyes. “Then what do you mean?”
The hurt is replaced by darkened desire once again as his fingers slide beneath the lace edge of my undergarments above my thigh, and a shuddering breath escapes my chest.
“I don’t like hiding.”
The muscle in his cheek flickers as he clenches his jaw. “You know that if anyone finds out that an unmarried queen is fucking her guard, it will diminish any future marriage prospects. I will not do anything that will jeopardize your opportunities as queen, especially if it is for the good of the kingdom. I’m not worth that.”
My eyes widen in shock but also anger. “You’re not—” I sputter, but he presses a finger to my lips.
“In whatever way you’ll have me. That was my promise. I intend to keep it.”
Pushing his arm away from my face, glare at him. “I’m the queen. I can do what I want and change any tradition or rule that I want. My father didn’t marry for an alliance, so why would the queen be required to?”
He lets out a breath through his nose. “No, he didn’t. But you’re not your father. Do whatyouthink is best for the kingdom.”
I fist the shirt at his chest again, holding him firmly and looking him square in the eye, pleading with him to understand all the emotion and love behind my words. “But you’re what’s best for me.”
He shakes his head, his eyes squeezing shut like it pains him to even think about the consequences of any decision. When his eyes fly open a moment later, every feeling his gaze held is gone, and the desire I get lost in is back in place.
“That’s enough talking,” he grumbles, and his mouth presses into mine, his tongue filling me so even if I tried, I couldn’t speak anymore.
Pleasure and anticipation throbs through my core as his hand finally slips beneath the lace and finds the wet heat at the apex of my thighs.
“You’re already soaked for me,” he grumbles as his fingers stroke me tenderly. My body screams for him to fill me, to press inside and touch me where I want him most. Pleading for any bit of pressure, my back arches and my hips press into his hand, but he pulls back as far as the fabric will allow, refusing to give me what I want. His tongue dives deep, silencing a whimper as a single finger circles just inside my entrance, making my whole body jolt. My knees weaken, threatening to buckle beneath me. Grabbing hold of the corded muscle in both of his arms, I squeeze tightly, holding myself upright as my mind spins, lost in all the sensation.
The moment two fingers press inside me, he breaks the kiss, his jaw clenching as he watches my head fall back in pleasure. When they curl inside me, stroking something that sends lightning shooting through my spine, I can’t stop the cry that rips from my throat.
“That wasn’t quiet, my queen.”
“I don’t care,” I gasp and squeeze his arms tighter. “Fuck.” The heel of his palm presses into me and rubs rhythmically with the slow slide of his fingers that continue to curl against me, pressing firmly before sliding out again.
Without stopping the delicious pleasure from his fingers, his other arm snakes down, looping under my knee and hiking my leg over his waist. Tilting my hips, he presses into me again, his fingers sinking impossibly deeper and his palm giving my throbbing clit even more pressure.
“Oh gods,” I moan, and force my eyelids to open, even just a little, so I can see if this is doing to him everything it’s doing to me.
And I do. I know he wants me. It’s clear in the darkness of his eyes, his widened pupils, and the firm set of his brow, but I also know he’s trying to distract me from whatever possibilities of the future that keep playing through his mind. They plagued him back on Dawnlin, and it took me too long to get him to forget them all and accept me as just Lennox. Not the queen of his kingdom, not the daughter of his friend.
He finally saw me for me. He saw that despite the lies he told himself about his duty and expectations, he could have me, and more than that, I wanted him to.
Maybe it’s being back in Blackwood. Maybe it’s watching me act like a queen. Maybe it’s knowing my father died with the understanding that our relationship was more than that of a princess and her guard, just like Weston said he would. Maybe it’s feeling that the choices were not our own, that Edmond meddled and forced us together. Maybe he’s worried that no one else would accept our being together.
Whatever the worry, I can’t let him pull away from me, not after everything we’ve built with each other. The love, the trust, the devotion. It’s too much and too perfect to let it be ripped away.
Unwrapping my fingers from their tight grip on his arms, I grab the collar of his shirt and with all the force I can muster pull him forward. His hand slams into the wall beside my head, catching himself and righting his balance so he doesn’t crush me, but my tactic works. I got his attention.
“Listen to me. You’re wrong.” I steel my voice, trying to make it as strong as I can while he’s still making my toes curl in my boots.
“I’m always right, remember?”
“You’re not now.” The words come out harsh as I glare at him, but it only lasts for a second before my eyes fall closed, and my head tilts back as a wave of pleasure crashes through me from the stroke of his fingers against my walls. Clearing my throat, I force my eyes back open, and try to keep my voice from being overtaken by the pleasure he’s coaxing from me. “You know this is more than just a queen fucking her guard. I love you, and you love me. Whatever self-sacrificial grumpy Captain bullshit you’re trying to pull will not work on me. So drop it, and fuck your queen.”
The teal in his eyes all but disappears, as carnal desire takes over. Jaw tightening, and eyes darting between mine, his hand shifts between my legs, and his thumb finds the right spot. My mouth falls open in a silent whimper as he rolls it in a tight circle, again and again, daring me to be the one to break, but I refuse to look away.
“I decided.” His chest heaves and it almost sounds like a snarl. “Directed at me. I only want it directed at me.” His body cages mine, pinning his hand between us and making every motion reverberate between our bodies. “Now fuck my hand, my queen, so I can watch that fire consume you before I get to.”
