Page 134 of Reign of Light
The fountain, the same one that brought each of us to Dawnlin and back again, looks nothing like it did mere days ago.
Gone are the packed dirt and sludge-covered surfaces, the cracks and nicks in the stone. Pristine white carvings with smooth surfaces depicting every manner of life and magic are clear as if it were in daylight. The water cascading through the openings in the mountain and into the pool below is clean and clear.
It looks exactly as I expected it to when I first realized the fountain was the key.
It looksalive.
As if something breathed life back into it, the same way the healing waters would. The magic is back.
We might actually have a chance.
Weston releases my hand and roams around the alley, peering behind anything that could hide someone, and looking in every shadowed corner to make sure we are alone, the same way Dane did the first time he whisked me away.
While Dane was the one who caused the heightened level of caution, Weston learned his lesson. This time, he isn’t willing to take a chance that someone would harm the magic, not after we are so close.
“We’re alone,” he murmurs and is back at my side in an instant.
“We need to call Edmond.” The breathiness in my voice betrays my excitement, and I look up at him. “Do you remember how?”
He nods, his brow furrowing. “Tears.”
His chin dips, and his teal eyes meet mine, and in the moment as I look up at the man I love, tears feel completely impossible. Dawnlin already gave me almost everything I hoped for. It gave me a new family, one that I chose. It gave me freedom and the power to make my own decisions. It gave me love and a future I never thought I would have. Though I left wanting to cure my mother, and have a life with a parent I never knew, I was grateful for what I walked away with, even if letting go of the others and of the hope for saving her hurt more than any pain I ever knew.
The last time I knelt at this fountain, I was filled with hopelessness.
But when I look into Weston’s face, when I feel the brush of his fingers against mine, I don’t feel sad or hopeless at all.
Which makes panic rise in my chest.
If I can’t cry, we can’t call the Guardian. I’ve never seen Weston shed a tear, only felt the ones that fell on my cheeks when he thought I died in his arms. How can we go to Dawnlin if we’re no longer hopeless?
“What are you thinking?” he asks, and I let out the breath I was holding.
“I don’t know if I can do it. I...” My words trail off as I try to piece together all the emotions surging through me. “I think this is the first time I’ve ever been in my kingdom and didn’t feel completely hopeless. Not anymore. Not with you here. Even if I could get a single tear to fall, deep down, the same feeling isn’t there. Just a tear might not be enough for the magic.”
I watch the column of his throat bob with a hard swallow, and he reaches up, his palm cupping my cheek. “I feel the same.”
Leaning into his touch, I sigh deeply, my shoulders falling as if they no longer have to hold up the invisible weight I have been carrying. A quiet calm settles between us, punctuated only by the trickling of water in the fountain.
This was it. This was our chance to save her. Both of us sacrificed pieces of ourselves to do so, and now, all because we found each other, found happiness, we lost our chance to help her. I know it isn’t a waste, and deep down, I want to think she would agree, especially knowing how my father left this world wishing only that we lived. But the piece of me that hoped for her to be part of my life aches.
“I don’t want to give up on her,” I murmur, “but maybe now that my father is gone, they can be together again. She would be happier, and so would he, after holding onto hope for so long. Even if we could get back, would it be selfish to keep her here and away from who she loves?”
He turns toward me, taking my other hand in his, and the thumb still on my cheek strokes my skin softly. “She loved you too, Lennox. Don’t forget that. But holding onto hope isn’t selfish. It’s part of being human. Letting go isn’t selfish either. There’s no right or wrong answer in death. Life as well as the end of it, will be how it is meant to be.”
How it is meant to be.
Everything that has happened in my life, all these ripple effects that have made me who I am and gotten me to where I stand, were all meant to be. I thought I could change things, control them, makewhat I wanted to happen when I wanted to, but time and time again, I was humbled. The island proved me wrong every time I thought I knew what was coming, and my world was turned upside down. My life here proved me wrong, when everything I expected to have or return to didn’t end up at all how I pictured.
Because it all happened how it was meant to be.
Dawnlin gave me hope. Edmond led me to it. But even after everything, I still couldn’t bring the waters back to her.
It’s time for it to end.
“If there’s no way we can help her, and no healing waters, then I think it is time I let her go.” His lips tip up into a sad smile, no doubt understanding what I’m feeling after he too has had to let both of his parents go.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
