Page 93 of Hidden Plays
“My friends know.” Heat knotted in my chest. Why the fuck did he care?
“And my roommate.” Holden pushed his lips together.
Noel’s eyes sparked with wickedness. “Does he enjoy living with a homo?—”
“Noel, that’s enough.” Mom scoffed and glared at him. “Your brother is happy, and JJ’s family is helping…” She twisted from the bed and rubbed her forehead.
“Helping with what, Mom? Is Dr. Matthews making sure I get locked up in rehab?” With a sneer, he glared back at Leah. “I’m not going, I told you that. I’m not a fucking junkie. There was something in the road, I tell you. The cops don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.”
Leah swiveled and grabbed his cheeks, putting her face close to his. “Noel, your blood alcohol level was three times the limit. Three times. And that didn’t include the marijuana and meth in your blood. You were lucky you didn’t kill yourself.”
“Yeah? Maybe I’d be better off dead.” As his lower lip quivered, his eyes grew glassy. “Then you wouldn’t have to put up with me at all.”
Leah released him and, with a sob, jogged from the room.
Jesus fuck, what a mess. The poor woman. My heart ached for them.
“Don’t say that, Noel.” Holden’s voice cracked. “Can’t you see what this is doing to Mom?” He blinked, and a tear escaped down his cheek. “What it’s doing to me? I want you to be sober. I want a brother I can rely on.” He held his hand out. “Do you have any idea how much it would have meant to me if you’d been there for me after my injury?” He bit his lower lip, his chest heaving.
I stared at him. What should I do? Maybe keep my trap shut and be there for the fallout. An ache burrowed into my chest.
“I know what it’s like to want to die. I was at that place after the accident. But you know what?” Another round of tears escaped down his cheeks, and he swiped them away. “I gothelp.” He took a jagged breath. “Mom and Dad lined me up with therapy, and it fucking worked. It helped me get past the pain and move on with my life.”
Noel stared at him, jaw dropped open. “I-I didn’t know.”
“Yeah, well, you were too busy getting fucked up to realize how bad off I was.” With a sniffle, he glanced toward the doorway. “Mom’s been through it. The poor woman had to battle to keep me alive, and now you…” He gritted his teeth. “You’ve been putting her through hell since middle school.” He hung his head. “We love you, Noel, even if you’re not perfect.”
Noel shifted in the bed, flinched and said, “I need some time alone.” He turned his face away from Holden and rubbed his eyes. “Please leave me alone.”
“Okay.” Holden faced me. “Let’s go see how my mom’s doing, JJ.”
“Of course, babe.” Draping an arm over his shoulders, I walked him from the room. Holy fuck, this family made mine look like an ice cream social. And here I’d been, all pissed off at my dad for not being immediately accepting of my sexuality? For needing time to process it? How much of the distance between us had been my fault? My resentment of him? Communication was a two-way street. I had to remember that.
Leah stood facing the window in the waiting room, drinking a coffee.
I stepped toward her with Holden. “Do you want a moment with your mom alone?” I’d just met his family. How much did he want me to witness?
“No, come with me. Maybe you can help as someone who’s more of an outsider.” He stopped and grabbed my hands. “But you won’t be an outsider for long.” He pressed a soft kiss on my lips.
“Okay.” I stepped to Leah with him. What a way to get to know his family.
“Mom.” Holden touched her shoulder, and she twisted around.
“I’m sorry, honey. I couldn’t help myself.” She hung her head. “He makes me so angry sometimes.”
“I know.” He sighed. “Me too.” With a glance at me, he said, “I sort of went off on him, and now he wants to be alone. Have you eaten?”
“What did you say to him?” Her brows wrinkled, and she dropped the coffee cup to her side.
“I…told him about my mental breakdown after my injury and how therapy helped me.” He scoffed. “Fuck, I thought it was the right thing to say, but who knows?”
Inching closer to his side, I said, “Holden, you never know what’s going to resonate with him, and he needed to know about that.” I bit the side of my lower lip. “Hell, it was long overdue.”
“Yeah, thanks, babe.” He inhaled deeply and then focused on his mother. “Mom, you look tired. Go home and rest for a while. I think he’s out of the woods with his physical health, right?”
“He is. The doctor said they’d know by today if they’d need to remove his spleen.” Her mouth twisted. “I am beat. Would you both stay here just in case he needs something?”
“Of course.” I gave her my most charming smile. It was the least I could do for her. “We can hang out and check on him periodically. Who knows? He might want to speak more with Holden.”
