Page 94 of Her Christmas Wish
“No!” Sage gave him that trembly smile again. He started to wonder if it was a good thing. “No, you’re doing fine,” she said, nodding.
“I’m avoiding,” he told her.
“I know.”
He shrugged. She nodded again. Then took a sudden step forward, as though attached to some apparatus springing her into action. “But that’s okay, Gray. I’m the one person everyone would have tagged for being over the moon with this news, and I’m struggling to wrap my mind around it all. The implications...what it will mean...everything that’s going to change...it’s overwhelming. Can I ask you to do one thing, for right now?”
He nodded. It wasn’t like he had any choice. There were hundreds to do. “Can you please just let us take a few days to process? If something occurs to you, you text me. If something comes up for me, I text you. Maybe that’s how we start to work through it all.”
He liked that. A lot. A step back. Managing the fallout.
“That would be...yes, I can do that,” he said. Then met her gaze. “Thank you.”
She smiled.
And he said, “Now I have one thing to ask of you.” One thing that was bothering the hell out of him.
“Sure, what?”
“Don’t ever give me an out on my responsibility again. Not ever. I’m not that guy, Sage. I would have thought you, of all people, would know that. It was my somewhat twisted attempt toberesponsible that led me to call off our wedding ten years ago. I’m not irresponsible. I just know squat about raising kids. I foam at the mouth, so to speak, at the thought of being responsible for one, because of that lack. And I tend to resent those I’m responsible for, on occasion.”
“Did you ever think that maybe you resented your grandmother’s illness? Not her?”
The words stopped him cold. Semantics. And yet...
Something to think about. Sometime. Right then, “Okay, here’s my first text. I’m in. Financially is a given. But I’m in for all of it. I need to know what’s going on. Need to be privy to every choice, even if I don’t have a say in it. And I need to know that if I say something stupid, or that won’t work, you do what you do. Don’t hold back.”
Her eyes seemed to have gained a sparkle. “What do I do?”
“Be you. Kindly, calmly point out where I’m mistaken.”
“And my first text back is, sounds good.”
She smiled. He smiled.
And Gray looked around his new home. Figuring it for a very good choice.
Sage wouldn’t let happiness bloom. Was afraid she’d lose sight of Gray’s less overt expression of his needs. But damn, life suddenly felt...better.
With a world of possibilities looming that she’d given up on.
Their lives wouldn’t be traditional. She wasn’t getting married or raising a family with her husband.
But Gray was back. He was there to stay. He loved her—though he hadn’t actually come out and said so in so many words—and he knew he loved her. He also knew she loved him. Looking at him, that was a given. And they were going to parent their child together. There were shadow sides, too. Like having to ruin a perfect moment with reality.
“Text number two,” she said softly, as Gray stood there, looking around his space as though ready to start in on the renovations part of the meeting. “Leigh.”
His eyebrows rose and his gaze settled on her intently. “Something’s wrong with her?”
“No. She’s four, Gray. And sensitive. We need to be careful, as we take on this baby somewhat together, that she doesn’t feel...left out.”
His head reared back as his eyes opened wide. “You mean me, right?”
She nodded.
“You’re mother to both, I’m father to one. Do for the one but not for...” He was frowning. Shook his head. And as her heart was sinking, knowing that he was overwhelmed with being a father at all, he added, “See, this is what I mean. Things I don’t know to think about. But I’d like to think that I’d have just gotten this one right without needing to talk about it. I’m already there for her. Right? We already established that one. So...” He glanced at her, looking as though an idea had just hit. “Do we tell her together? Let her know that I’m going to be in her life now, too?”
She hadn’t gotten that far. Felt her heart flood with warmth. “I think she’d like that. And it would maybe make finding out that she is going to be sharing me with another baby a little easier to take. Knowing she gets you in the bargain.”
