Page 104 of Cross My Heart
“How the fuck do you think she feels, Dex? Jesus, that was a stupid question.” Without even hesitating, I hang up on Julia and turn my phone off. I warned her.
Looking at me, I see Lanie’s confusion, I feel her excitement, I sense her hesitation.
“Baby, everything is going to be okay, I promise you. I want you to know, I am so in love with those little peanuts growing inside of you already. I believe this is a good thing, Lanie. Our family is going to grow from a family of five to a family of seven in just a few short months! Tate is going to be over the moon.”
“Holy shit,” is all Lanie says with a smile I’ve never seen before.
Smiling back at her, I decide this smile of all her different ones, is my new favorite. This smile tells me she is whole, she is happy, and we are going to be just fine.
Lanie
Chapter 38
Iwake up on Christmas morning and run to the bathroom. Whoever decided to call this morning sickness needs a swift kick to the throat. My morning sickness has no sense of time and happens at all hours of the day. Hovering over the toilet bowl, Dex comes up behind as he does every day, placing my hair in a ponytail and rubbing my back until it subsides.
“Why are you up so early, Lanie?” He asks, knowing the sickness never hits until I wake up.
“I was hoping to get the vomiting out of the way before the kids wake up and run to see if Santa came, I don’t want to miss that.”
Setting the cookies and carrots out last night with Tate was the beginning of many new memories I’m making with him. I will cherish this first Christmas forever, though.
“We could have held them off, you know?” He tells me, handing me a glass of water and adding toothpaste to my toothbrush for when I am ready.
“No way, this is my first Christmas with my own family, I am not going to let a little morning sickness ruin it for me,” I don’t get to finish because I fling my head back to the toilet bowl. Ten minutes later, I’m finally ready to brush my teeth, just in time, too, because Tate comes bouncing into our room right as I finish.
“It’s Christmas, Lanie. It’s Christmas,” he screams.
You can’t feel anything but excitement when a child has such an innocent look of happiness on his face.I never understood the excitement people always spoke of when describing the feeling of Christmas morning.Right now, I do, I finally feel the magic of Christmas morning. Today, I’m living it, and I don’t plan to ever let this feeling go.
* * *
The day goesby in a flash. We facetime with Mimi and Pawpaw, then with Julia and Charlie. Trevor and Loki stop by in the afternoon with gifts for the kids and we facetime with the Westbrook’s after dinner.
I learned Dexter usually has Christmas with the Westbrooks, but after talking, he decided he wanted to have our first Christmas together, just us, our family. I melted a little at the sentiment of it, and the Westbrook’s agreed as long as they got a redo with us next week.
Around eight, the presents have all been opened and the kids are in bed. “I think we can clean up this mess tomorrow, right? I’m too tired to even think about it right now.”
Dexter laughs but agrees. He starts a fire in the fireplace and we snuggle in on the new sofa I got him for Christmas. This one is massive and a soft fabric material you can’t help but get lost in. All seven of us will be able to cozy up on this one for years to come.
Sitting next to me, Dex pulls me closer into his side. Since learning I was pregnant, with twins no less, he has been overly protective. So much so that we had to have a conversation yesterday about his hovering. Thankfully, he took it in stride.
“I've got one last present for you, sweetheart. Do you want it?”
Feeling guilty because he has already given me so much today, the smile breaks through anyway. “I do,” I say, clapping my hands together like a child.
Dex gets up and goes behind the fourteen-foot Christmas tree I insisted we had to have. Coming to sit back next to me, he places a hefty package in my hands. It's shaped like a book and I can’t imagine what it could be. To say he spoiled me this Christmas is an understatement. I don’t think I have had this many gifts in all my birthdays and Christmas’ combined.
“Go ahead, open it,” he says, leaning back into the couch with a satisfied smile.
I do as he asks, and I gasp as I run my fingers over the leather I find inside. Taking it out of the box gently, I turn it over in my hands. Embossed on the luxurious leather front isMLM, the story of us.Looking at him, I see all the love he is directing at me. Carefully, I open the cover and laugh as I see the very first entry:
Dexter: Day 1 of MLM: Mission in process.LED floodlights are being installed in her room as we speak. She never has to worry about the lights again.
Preston: It is early in the day for word games. What is MLM?
Julia: Obviously, it's Make Lanie Mine. Should I expect these updates daily?
Trevor: Who has the 802 number?
