Page 20 of Cross My Heart
I find Lanie kneeling over the bathtub in the nursery and lose my breath. Her shorts are short. Really short, and riding up towards her ass as she leans over Sara to wash her hair. Harper splashes and kicks her feet, so Lanie jumps back, landing right against my chest. Her scent is calming, like lilacs and baby powder.
She whips around with her hand to her chest. I scared her because she is in a defensive stance between the girls and me. It makes me both ridiculously happy and extremely sad at the same time. I have no doubt Lanie will protect and help piece together my little family.
Maybe I can find a way for us to protect and heal her too.
“Shiplap,” she finally says, making me chuckle.
I take a step back with my hands raised. “What are you doing, Lanie?”
“Ah, the girls needed baths?” She says as though that should be the most obvious thing in the world. “They were completely orange from the canned pasta.”
I look her up and down. I cannot figure this girl out and fuck if I know why I want to so badly. “The girls have splashed you a lot,” I say. Her shirt is slightly see-through now, allowing me to see the lace outline of her bra.
Fuck me.I spin around. “I’ll grab you a new shirt.”
When I come back, she has both girls dry and dressed, lying on the bed with their sippy cups.
"How the hell did you do that so fast? It takes me at least forty minutes to get them both dressed." I admit, handing her the shirt.
I can tell I’ve embarrassed her. The flush across her cheeks is an easy tell.
"I've been helping my friend, Julia, with her son, Charlie, since he was a baby. Just lots of practice, I guess,” she says, making minimal eye contact.
I smile. I can't help it around her.
“I can take it from here, why don’t you go get changed? I know you weren’t planning on starting tonight, but I do have a lot I need to go over with you. Do you mind waiting downstairs so we can go over the details?” I ask, enjoying the way her skin has flushed a deep pink.
“Sure. I’ll see you down there.” She tells me, leaning in and kissing both girls on the cheek.
They giggle and love her back with open-mouthed wet kisses.Have the other nannies done this with them?Maybe that is why they are so comfortable with Lanie. She gives affection freely.
Lanie gets up with my t-shirt covering her front and heads out the door. Watching her walk out of the room, I can’t help but compare her to Anna. I know the girls never had a connection with Anna. She made sure of that.Why don’t I ever remember Anna cuddling or kissing Tate? Surely, she did…right?
I snuggle with the girls for a few minutes and put them both in their cribs. Heading back to Tate’s room, I find Lanie on the bed with him singing a song and rubbing his hair. That darkness in my heart opens a little more. I don’t know what to make of it.
Where did this woman come from? She finishes her song and looks down at Tate. He has fallen asleep in her lap and she leans down and kisses him on the cheek too. She whispers something I can’t quite make out as I watch. Tate smiles in his sleep, and it even appears as if he mumbles something, although I can’t be sure with the angle of his face.
Lanie pats his head again and scans around the room, taking everything in. When she spots me in the doorway, she gives me a bashful little shrug.
I shake my head, making my way over, then lean down to whisper, “I’m going to lift him off your lap so you can slide out.”
She nods her head but gasps as my hands come in contact with her thigh and stomach.
Now it’s my turn to shrug. “Sorry, I can’t get him otherwise,” I whisper.
She nods her head. As I slide him off of her, she shimmies to the end of the bed and climbs out.
I lean over Tate and kiss him on the head. “I love you, buddy.”
I turn and guide Lanie out of the room with my hand on the small of her back. I don’t want to acknowledge how right this feels. I’ve got to stay focused. She is excellent with the kids.I cannot do anything to mess that up. I scold myself as I follow Lanie downstairs.
“Why don’t you meet me in the kitchen? I just have to run to my office to grab your folder,” I say, loving how she looks in my home.Lanie doesn’t speak but heads off in the direction I sent her.
When I return, I find her sitting at the table with her bare feet tucked up under her. She has my old law school t-shirt on and damn if it doesn’t make me want to think dirty thoughts—focus, asshole.
“Ah, hey. Thank you for today.” I say, running a hand through my mop of hair. “I know you were only expecting to be here for an hour or so. I hope we didn’t ruin any plans you had?”
“No. I’m just going to head to a hotel when I leave here, so it’s no big deal. Plus, if you have to go on a trip soon, it’s better that I spend a lot of time with the kids before you leave to learn their routines,” she says with a small yawn.
