Page 26 of Cross My Heart
This won’t be so bad, right?I told Dex I would stay for one year.With the attraction between us, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to explore. We have an end date already; he doesn’t do love, and I want to find a way to have it again. It should be a win-win. I just have to figure out how to get Dex to agree.
I know I have to be downstairs any minute, but I need my best friend. Pulling up her name, I hit facetime, waiting for it to connect.
“Jules,” I hiss when I see her smiling face. “I haven't been here a week and we are already flirting. ME, Jules, I am flirting with a man!”
“O-kay,” she says, slowly trying to contain her amusement. “I know there are a million ways this could go sideways, but you are both consenting adults. As long as you both agree to put the children first, I don’t see why it's such a big deal. I’m actually freaking ecstatic for you.You’re finally on the road to recovery, my friend. If that hot specimen of a man can help you move on, I say go for it.”
“It’s not that easy, Jules,” I complain.
“Answer me this,” it’s how Julia starts most of her interrogations. “How would you feel watching Dex leave on a date with someone else? He is the first man in almost two years you have had chemistry with. Would you honestly be okay with him dating someone else if you didn’t at least explore it first?”
A sadness that makes no sense considering I just met the man washes over me as I picture Dex on a date with someone else. Since I don’t want to answer Jules, I tell her a different truth, “I know, without a doubt, I’m in for heartbreak with this guy.”
“Sometimes, we have to have a little heartbreak to get where we need to be. Maybe a little heartbreak will be worth it if he can help you get past what happened to you. Remember, you are the one who keeps saying you will only stay a year. You have to remember that. You aren’t the only one risking heartbreak if you take things any further with him,” Jules informs me.
“You’re right, as always. Lord knows if I don’t do something, I will end up as alone as my mother has always been,” I say morosely.
“Lanie Kathleen Heart. You listen, and you listen good,” Julia scolds. “You are not, nor will you ever be, alone.”
“Thanks, Jules. I have to get going. Tate has to be at school soon. Luvs.” I send kisses through the phone before hanging up.
Luvs. Never alone. Remember that. With that sobering thought running through my head, I get dressed and run down the stairs to help load the kids into the car.
* * *
Tate’s schoolis surprisingly traditional. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but as we pull up to the brick L-shaped building that says ‘Waverley-Cay Elementary’ on it in bright green letters, I smile. I look back at Tate, and he has a nervous frown on his face. I wish I knew why. He should be loving school at this age.
We park in front of the building. I start unbuckling the girls while Dex gets out the monstrous double stroller. Tate stands beside the car, wringing his hands.
“Hey, buddy, what’s up? Are you nervous about school today?” I ask.
He shakes his head and stares straight ahead, but I sense something is amiss.
Dex locks the car, and I reach out to Tate, not sure if he will take it or not but smile when he slips his little hand into mine. I give him a small squeeze of encouragement.
“Tate will have to head straight to his class while we check-in at the office,” Dex starts. “Tate, you go ahead to your classroom, Lanie and I have to sign in and fill out some paperwork. When we finish, we will come down to your classroom and introduce Lanie to Mrs. Williams.”
Tate nods his head, squeezes my hand, then slowly walks down the hall with his head lowered.
“Has he ever said anything to you about not liking school?” I ask when Tate is out of earshot.
Dex shakes his head, appearing sad. “No. I know he is different lately, though. He used to love coming to school. This year has been tough on him. He never complains, but he doesn’t ask to play or see anyone outside of school. To be honest, I’m not even sure who his friends are, or who they used to be. The other nannies were never very good at giving me details.” He says as though it’s just occurring to him, he scowls. “Turn left here and show them your license at the desk. You’ll have to sign a document and some permissions, then you can head to Tate’s classroom. I’ll fill out the necessary forms, it’ll be faster this way. I have a meeting at 10:30. I’ll meet you in the classroom as soon as I’m done here.”
I do as he asks, and I’m directed down the hall to the last door on the right. I walk the halls slowly, looking at all the happy artwork lining the walls. The school has done an exceptional job of making it feel homey and cheerful. The walls, although made out of what looks like cement blocks, are painted a light airy blue. Each classroom has a section with bulletin boards, classwork decoratively displayed.
I stop to study one self-portrait that is so insane I try not to laugh when I hear a commotion. I turn and realize it is coming from the boy's restroom. I know I can’t go in. That is until I hear the taunting.
“Tate, Tate, you’re always late, so now this is forever your fate,” a boy standing over Tate is singing.
I am through the door before I even realize I am moving,frozen by what I see. Tate is being held down by a rather large kid who has what appears to be soap stuck on a stick. I stare at it carefully and realize it's not a bar of soap, but a urinal cake and the little asshole is trying to rub it all over Tate’s face and clothes.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I yell as I rip the kid off Tate. I have the little bully by the arm and am picking Tate up with my other hand.
“Lanie, please don’t,” Tate whispers.
I see he has tears coming down his face. I turn to the bully and do my best not to throttle him. “You,” I point menacingly, “what is your name?”
“I don’t have to answer you. I’m going to get you kicked out of here for entering the boy's bathroom,” the little shit says.
