Page 38 of Cross My Heart
Lanie
Precisely five minutes later,Dex is knocking on my door. I open it, unable to keep my snarky comments to myself.
“Sooo,” I drawl, “You do know how to knock?” It’s a shitty thing to say I know, but I’m feeling shaken and a little lost after our naked, well, my naked encounter a few minutes ago. He leans in and picks me up like a baby who weighs nothing.
“Honestly, at least let me walk down the stairs, so you don’t kill us both. You can pick me up at the bottom if it means that much to Tate.”
“Not going to happen, Lanie. I promised Tate, and I never go back on my promises.” Something about the way he says it while staring into my eyes with such open honesty makes me shudder. I know he is talking about more than his promise to Tate.
Dex carries me down to the family room, where I see Tate has set up a makeshift hospital tray on the couch. He has the girls in their high chairs on either side of the sofa.A chair for Dex in the middle. My throat feels too tight, I can’t speak for a moment. Dexter seems to understand and takes extra time tucking me in, allowing me to collect myself.
“Tate? You did all this for me, buddy?” I eventually ask him.
He nods his head, and I can’t stop the tear from rolling down my face.
“Come here, buddy.” I choke out.
Tate walks over to me slowly, unsurely, and I grab him into a fierce hug. He sags into me, burying his face in my neck when I feel his tears.
“Hey, hey, look at me.” I coo.
He tilts his face up but not before trying to wipe away his tears.
“Are you crying for me or because you were scared?” I ask gently.
“Both,” he sobs, and my heart cracks wide open.
“Listen to me right now, okay?” I tell him, my voice finding strength for him. “Do not cry for me, you understand me? All adults should always protect you, no matter what. You matter to me, Tate. You, your sisters, even your cranky old dad matter to me.” I hear Dexter snort and a short burst of laughter from Tate.
“I will never let anyone hurt you, I promise you that. As long as I am around, I will always keep you safe, that’s what your dad and I are here for,” I tell him. “To love you. To protect you. To make sure your days are filled with love and laughter. If we get a little banged up in the process, we did it to keep you safe. That is the only thing that matters to me. I will always protect you.”
He doesn’t say anything but nods, so I keep going. “Crying because you’re scared is normal. There have been many times in my life when I was so scared. Sometimes crying makes you feel better. But having someone you can turn to, someone you can trust is always the best. And Tate, you can always come to me.No matter what or where or when, I will always be there for you.” I promise him.
With his voice so low and shaky, he looks at me with big sad eyes, “But who will protect you, Lanie? Who is there for you?”
I’m so affected by his words that a small sob gurgles in my throat. I try to speak but choke a little. Before I can say anything, Dex comes forward.
“I will, Tate. I will protect Lanie just like I protect you and the girls. Lanie is part of our family while she is here,” he looks over to me and adds, “a part of our family as long as she wants to be. Lanie has proven her love for you time and time again, so I promise you, little man, I will protect her.”
The sentiment scares the hell out of me, I’m so shocked I can’t say anything.
How could he tell Tate he will protect me? He has no idea what my life is like. He knows I can only stay a year, that’s why I told Tate no matter where or when he can always come to me.
So, why is Dex making it sound like forever? I can’t do forever. I certainly don’t have a good track record, not to mention he doesn’t know the permanent damage Zachary did when he cut me open. There is no happily ever after for me. The sooner he realizes that, the better.
Dex
Chapter 16
The rest of last night was slightly off. We ordered take-out and Tate made sure to stay as close to Lanie as humanly possible, but she was quiet, subdued. Nothing like the Mary Poppins cyclone I’ve grown to really fucking adore.
I’m not sure what upset her. Was it me promising to protect her? Was it Tate, so wise beyond his years that threw her off? Maybe it was our argument last night about Anna.
"Listen, Dex, I just can't. I can't go to the police station, please don't make me. I'll be more prepared if she comes back. Please, can we just try to forget it happened?"
"Lanie, you cannot be serious? She assaulted you. Who knows what she would have done to Tate."
"Nothing would have happened to Tate, I meant what I said. I will always protect those I care about."
