Page 45 of Cross My Heart
“I don’t know if I can tell him, Jules, about the attack. I’m no good for anyone. If I can’t tell him about my past, how can he ever really know me?” I state quietly.
“Honey, I know you’re hurting right now, and it feels like we all betrayed you, but trust me, it wasn’t like that at all. We all, Dexter included, just want what’s best for you. I spent only one day with him, and I think you need to give him a little more credit. I think you’ll find out under that alpha male thing he has going on, he isn’t that much different than you. We all have scars, Lanes, some are just better at hiding them. Now, promise me you’re not going to go barreling out of your room and spew venom all over Dexter?”
I give her my best angry face, “That I cannot promise. I’m also mad at you guys, too, you know?”
“I know, but we’re family, real family. You can’t be mad at us forever, and to hear Dexter talk, it sounds like you just might be part of his family as well. Get some sleep, Lanes, okay? I’ll talk to you in the morning?”
“Sure. Night, Jules. Luvs.”
“Luvs you too.”
I throw my phone on the bed and start pacing. I’m spitting fire. What was he thinking, inserting himself into my life like that?
Oh God, what if someone told him about my attack? Julia is right though, I can’t go out guns blazing, not just yet. I have to get my thoughts together, so I continue to pace.
Dex
Chapter 19
Julia: Abort! Abort! Abort mission, for now. Sorry, dude. She dragged it out of me. I can’t lie for shit.She is pretty pissed, but I think she will calm down. Wherever you are, hide. Now. I don’t think she will come out of her room for at least an hour.She is probably collecting her thoughts, but you do not want those conversations right now. The morning is better. Hide.
Dexter: What the actual fuck, Julia? I thought you were rooting for me, then you go and sabotage me the first chance you get? This isn’t a fucking game to me, Julia. I want a real shot at this. If you ruined this, I-I don’t even know what I’ll do. FUCK!
Julia: Calm down, asshat. I’ll help you fix it. But for tonight, lay low. I’ll help smooth it over in the morning.
Dexter: Fucking hell.
Julia: Double fuck, but we’ll fix it.
I grab the baby monitors and head to my room. Thankfully, it’s already pretty late.I cannot believe I am fucking hiding like a little boy. What else can I do, though? Julia does know her best, even though this is all her fault. I roll my eyes and hear Lanie in her room, mumbling and…pacing? Yup, definitely pacing. Holy hell, this is going to be a long night. I lean against my door just as my phone rings.
Julia.
"Hello?"
"Listen, I know I am breaking all kinds of girl code here, but I have to tell you something." The way she says it gives me an immediate sense of dread.
"What is it?" I ask, trying to calm my breathing.
"Well, here's the thing. For the last year or so, Lanie has been having nightmares, usually only when the power goes out, which happens a crazy amount here in the mountains. I have to tell you now because you have to look out for her. When she is stressed or overwhelmed, they tend to happen too. I'd say finding out about your little excursion is overwhelming her."
I'm about to tell her that it is, in fact, her fault that Lanie knows I went to Vermont, but she rambles on.
"The problem is, you won't hear her. She always leaves her door open, and the light on so it should be easy enough to peek in on her," she explains.
"Julia," I say sternly. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea."
"Listen, jerk off. I am not there, so you have to do it. If Lanie has a bad one, it will be tough for her to wake on her own, but whatever you do, don't put your meaty paws on her. If she feels your giganotosaurus sized hands, it will be even harder to bring her out of the nightmare. Just walk into her room and loudly but kindly tell her who you are and that you need her to wake up. Keep saying it over and over again until she comes to. Kindly though...got it?"
My mind is overflowing with emotion right now and I don't speak right away.
"Dexter! Do you hear me? You need to watch out for her. You said you were going to protect her, correct?"
I come out of my stupor, "Yeah, I'll take care of her."
"Good. I'm sure we'll talk soon," she tells me.
I go to say goodbye, but she has already hung up. This night just brought insane to a whole other level. Now, I'm really in for a long night.
