Page 54 of Cross My Heart
I’ve spent the entire night holding her, not taking my eyes off her. I know this is not how she wanted to tell me, hell, she probably thought she would never tell anyone. I’m not sure how today is going to go, so I spend the last moments holding on to her before she inevitably tries to shut down again. Just before six, she stirs.
“Dex?” She says sleepily, not making eye contact. “I’m so sorry I fell asleep. I’m going to run up and shower before Tate wakes.”
I don’t let her go right away. “Lanie, do you remember what I said to you that day you came out of your shower?”
She still won’t look at me.
“Your scars make you who you are, they show how much you have overcome. They do not make you any less beautiful. Just remember that. Please, don’t run away from me. I know we both let a lot of hurts out in the open last night. Let me be the one to help put you back together.”
“Richard Gere and now Humpty Dumpty? You have quite the repertoire there, Mr. Cross,” she smiles.
I chuckle and help her to her feet, standing with her. “I know last night was a lot to take in.I know that I never thought I would rehash my shit with Anna, but I want you to know, you aren’t going to scare me away. Take your time, let everything sink in. We will take this slow, okay?”
“Okay,” she agrees, pulling away, not making eye contact, and heads upstairs.
I sink back onto the couch and put my head in my hands.Fuck. This was way too much, way too soon. I haven’t prayed in a very long time. Not since I used to pray for my mother to come home, but I find myself praying now. I pray to God that Lanie doesn’t run. I check my phone and decide it might be time to call in backup.
Dexter: Day 1 didn’t go the way I planned. We laid all our ghosts bare. I’m afraid she is going to run.
Julia: WTF, Dexter, how did that happen?
Dexter: I burned the chicken parmesan.
Julia: Hey, dipshit, how do you go from burning chicken to baring your souls?
Trevor: It’s a little early for this but can I just point out, I really like Lanie’s friend.
Trevor: She has a point though, how did you get from point A to point B?
Dexter: I don’t know, guys. I burned dinner. We talked. I started to tell her about my dad and Anna. I ended up telling her the whole damn story.
Silence. For ten damn minutes. Nothing.
Dexter: Hello? I told Lanie everything.
Julia: Dexter, what happened after you told her?
Dexter: She let slip that she couldn’t have children. Then she tried to tell me about her attack. I couldn’t stand to see her in pain, so I told her I knew all about it, and it didn’t make her any less beautiful. Then we sat for a long time, not talking. She cried herself to sleep while I held her. She is spooked this morning, I can tell.
Julia: You’re a good man, Dexter Cross. Your bros will be at your house in twenty minutes.I’m going to call Lanes.
* * *
“Dex? You here?”Trevor lets himself in through the front door.
I stand from the couch and greet him in the foyer. “Hey.”
“Lanie here?” Trevor looks around me.
“No, she left a little while ago to take Tate to school. Come on in.” I lead him to the kitchen and put on some coffee.
“I’m not going to lie, I’m shocked you told Lanie. You told her everything?” He asks.
“Everything. Dad, Mom, Anna. Told her the entire thing. Now she knows that I looked into her attack too. I’m not sure how she is going to take it,” I inform him.
“I’m proud of you, Dex. I wasn’t sure you were ever going to get to this point. It’s good to see, man. It gives assholes like me hope,” Trevor smirks.
“What gives you hope?” Preston walks in, holding a box of muffins. As much as Preston has changed over the years, he is still a good guy at heart. He tries to hide it. None of us are sure why, but I recognize my pain in his eyes. Whatever he has kept from us since college haunts him to this day.
