Page 29 of The Beat of My Heart
-She keeps me on my toes
-I never know what she will say
-I don’t have to wonder, she always tells me what’s on her mind
-I love listening to all her noises
-She calms me
-She makes me feel less alone
Looking up at him, I ask, “I make pros and cons lists to answer a question, what is your question?”
I stare as he swallows hard, “If I can make it through this week without breaking or breaking you.”
“What?”
“Angel, please don’t ask me to explain. I can’t.” He sounds pained.
“Okay, um-okay. Well, did you come up with an answer?” I finally ask.
Nodding his head, he tells me, “I did.”
“What is it?” I ask, almost afraid of what he is going to tell me.
“I decided that you are too incredible to let go. I’d be a fool not to spend the little time I have with you. So, I put all the other shit aside and decided I want to get to know you, I want to spend time with you in this game we are playing, as much as I can, for as long as I can. Is that okay with you, Angel?”
“Uh-huh,” apparently not only can he calm me, but he can also stun me into complete silence.
“Good, now, about your list. You make them to answer questions you need to see in black and white. Does seeing my list clear things up for you? I want the door to stay open because I want to spend every second of this week that I can with you.”
“Okay, let’s go,” I say, jumping up.
“Okay? That’s it?” he asks.
“Yup, the chaos is coming. I need to walk and we need to get to the game, so let’s get moving,” I tell him.
I’m standing in front of him, trying to wrestle my hand free from his, but he holds firm, pulling me in between his legs.
“Let the chaos come, Angel. I want to hear it,” he tells me, placing both hands on my hips.
“I-I can’t,” I start.
“Why not, Angel?” he asks soothingly.
“I’m not sure. It just doesn’t come when you are this close,” I tell him honestly.
Giving me a smile that should be featured on the cover of GQ, he says, “Good, that’s what I want to hear. Let me calm your chaos.”
“And I’ll keep your darkness away.” I’m not sure what made me say that, but by the look on his face, we both know it’s the truth.
Sighing, he says, “I don’t know that anyone can do that, Angel, but you certainly bring in the light.” Standing up, he kisses me chastely, then drags me through the room to the door. “Let’s get to this baseball game you keep talking about.”
The moment has passed, but I want more than anything to chase his darkness away.
“I don’t think I have ever known a woman who got ready faster than me,” he comments.
“Shit, shower, and shave, as Miss Rosa would say, what else do you have to do?” I ask.
