Page 37 of The Beat of My Heart
Nodding in understanding, Lance says, “Eyes have vacated, the mark is untraceable. I’ve tried it.”
They are talking in code, and it’s exhausting trying to follow along, so I train my attention back on the field just as JD Martinez takes the field. Jumping out of my seat like the fangirl I am, I scream along with the other thirty thousand fans. “Let’s. Go. Red. Sox.” I chant along with the crowd.
When Christian Vasquez throws out a runner trying to steal second base to end the third inning, my voice is hoarse and I’m a little sweaty. I’ve gotten so lost in the excitement of the game that I forgot who I was with. Looking down, I see Charlie sitting back in his chair, his long legs spread wide to fit in the compact space. He isn’t watching the game. Charlie is watching me, his eyes have gone dark, intense, smoldering. Sitting down, suddenly shy, I can’t take my eyes off of him.
Wrapping one arm around my middle, he says, “You are the fucking sexiest woman I have ever met. I don’t know how I can get my fill of you in just four days, but I will try. And you will go home feeling me inside of you for weeks.”
I gulp. “Mhm,” I am unable to form sentences. Reaching for my now lukewarm beer, I chug it, causing him to chuckle.
“Goddamn it, woman, you will be the death of me,” he says, running circles around my neck with his index finger.
For the first time in my life, I sit watching the rest of the game without actually seeing it. Charlie’s hand on my neck has all my brain cells doing the Cha-Cha and my clit throbbing.
I’m heading for heartbreak for sure.
Finally, it’s the seventh inning. Turning to Charlie, I grab his hand and help him stand. Together, with thirty thousand others, we sway and sing along to Neil Diamond’sSweet Caroline, hand in hand.
Chapter 13
-Weak, AJR
Trevor
We are both quiet as we make our way back to the hotel. Angel isn’t chatty, but I can see her brain working overtime. I hate that she has doubts about me. I hate even more that my father put them in her head. It’s yet another thing he is ruining for me.
I spent the entire game watching her. I have every inch of her memorized for when we have to part. It’s the knowledge that no matter how much I want things to be different, I can’t have a different ending with her.
Why couldn’t I have met her after my father was in jail?
It is taking every shred of decency I have not to ask her to wait for me. What kind of asshole would that make me though? I can’t be with you right now, but wait for me? I can’t even tell her why.
My father showing up at the game tonight brought me back to the present in the harshest of ways. As much as I want to pretend the devil isn’t on my tail, he was right there to remind me that he is coming. If not him, then someone like him. It's only a matter of time. I cannot, no matter how much I want to keep this woman, bring her into this world. Not when everything in me is screaming that she’ll end up like my mother.
When Loki introduced himself as Lance, I thought my time with Angel was over. I thought for sure he was there to escort me home. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case, but he did remind me that my time with Angel is limited, so I’m going to take advantage of every fucking moment.
The door closes softly with a click, and I watch as Angel sits on the bed to untie her sneakers. Knowing I have to address the elephant in the room, I walk to her and stand between her legs. Placing my fingers under her chin, I bring her eyes to mine.
Lowering myself to the floor until we are face to face, I tell her, “Angel, my father is a vile human being. He probably always has been and definitely always will be. He is my reason for agreeing to play your game. Until he is out of my life, I can’t have a future. He is not a good man, Angel, but he will not hurt you. No one really knows who you are. The man you met tonight, Lance? He is one of the good guys, he ensured me that no one can find you. If he can’t find you, men like my father won’t be able to either. I know this is all cryptic and scary-sounding. Fuck!” I sigh, raking my hand through my hair almost violently. “If you want me to leave, I will, but I really hope you don’t want that because I like you, Angel. More than I’ve ever liked anyone, and I want to get my fill before we have to leave each other. I’m sure whatever your reasons for the rules, they are nowhere near as crazy sounding as mine, but I want to be as honest as I can with you. Y-you’re very special to me.”
“You make it sound like he’s in the mob or something,” she laughs.
I inhale sharply, but she doesn’t appear to notice.
She moves to stand, but I don’t budge, forcing her body to connect with mine, and we both feel my arousal immediately. Reaching up on her tiptoes, she grabs my neck to bring my mouth to hers.
“Thank fuck,” I groan, ripping her t-shirt over her head and tossing it to the floor. The red lace that greets me is exquisite. Ghosting my palms over her nipples, I feel the heat radiating off of her. She moans before I’ve even touched her, causing a growl to escape from deep within me.
“Charlie,” she whispers, the name growing on me. I feel more alive as Charlie than I have ever felt as Trevor.
“I know, Angel. I know.” It’s all I can say. There’s so much that has to be left unsaid between us, and it fucking makes me hate myself. This girl deserves the world. She deserves love, a life I know I’m incapable of providing at the moment. I hate myself because even with that knowledge, I’m too goddamn selfish to walk away from her. I’m connecting to her in a way that, until now, I never would have believed existed.
Slowly, I lower her to the bed, cherishing, worshiping every inch of her. I’m committing every freckle, every indent to memory, knowing I’ll have to leave her. This line of thinking has my chest aching so painfully I fist a hand over my heart, willing it to stop.
“Are you okay?” Angel asks, noticing my distress.
I stare at her for a moment, contemplating how to respond. Hating that I’m about to lie to her, I say, “Yeah, Angel. I’m fine. I-I just get lost in you sometimes.” The last part was the truth, at least. I’m getting lost in her so fast, my brain doesn’t have time to catch up.
Hovering over her delicate body, I lower my lips to hers. I’m praying everything I want to say to her can be emitted through this kiss. As my tongue seeks entry, my eyes close, and I’m lost to the sensations of her. The softness of her lips, the sweet taste of mint from the gum she was chewing on our way home. The way she moves under me, looking for the friction I know she needs. It’s all enough to break me. I’m weak to her.
