Page 50 of The Beat of My Heart
To see her happy?
Can you always put her first, even if that means leaving in the middle of the most epic game on Xbox?
Think about her dating someone else. How does it make you feel?
Are you happier around her than when you’re not?
Does she make you want to do better? Be better?
I know we aren’t old enough to have fallen in love a bunch of times, but I know you, dude. You will always run from it. When you find the girl that makes you feel all the feels, don’t be an ass.
Go for her. You deserve to be happy, you always have. When we grow up, we will make sure we are all happy, always. We are family, remember that.
Pretty deep for a couple of twelve-year-olds, right? I believe in love, Trev, I have to. I know we will all find it someday. If I ever forget, you remind me, and I’ll do the same for you.
Get your ass back to Waverley-Cay. Summer sucks without you.
Dex
For some reason, I’d hung on to that letter all these years. I’ve read it and re-read it to the point of having it memorized. I’d always admired Dexter and his ability to love so freely, but now his questions are haunting me.
Am I happier when she is around?Fuck yes. Does she make me want to do better?So goddamn much. She has brought back the light, the music—she’s brought me to life. But what kind of life can I give her?
My father has ruined so much in my twenty-eight years. I can’t let him ruin her too. Loki said I couldn’t have saved my mother, but it will always be a question in my mind.
Brushing hair away from her face, I stare at Angel. Her long lashes splayed over her fair cheeks that have a smattering of freckles. I’ve memorized each one in the last few hours. As the first light of morning cracks through the drapes, the world around me is suddenly in slow motion. She calms me, and I’ll be damned if I let her go without a fight.
Angel mumbles, and I think she is awake, but looking down, I see her eyes fluttering in sleep, “This doesn’t have to be the end of us.”
I chuckle. Even in sleep, we are in tune. She can be my home, my life, something I haven’t had in many, many years.Will she want that too?There is so much I have to figure out. So much I’ll have to tell her, hope and pray that she’ll understand. I will have to put all my trust into Loki and his ability to keep her safe. With sudden clarity, I know I’ll never be able to walk away from her.
Kissing her gently on the lips, I slip out of bed. I’ve got shit to do. I smile—the first genuine smile I’ve felt through my entire body in over ten years. Grabbing a piece of paper and pen, I write Angel a note.
Angel,
I had to take care of some stuff this morning. Have dinner with me tonight. Meet me in the hotel lobby tonight at 7 pm. Wear whatever the hell you want, I happen to think you look adorable in your sweatpants.
~Charlie
There is so much more I want to put into that letter, but it needs to be said in person, so I refrain. Tiptoeing to my room, I change and slip out into the early morning light. Loki is my first stop.
Chapter 17
-To Hell & Back, Maren Morris
Julia
Rolling over, I stretch and immediately know something's off. “Charlie?” I ask an empty room, already knowing he is gone. My stomach sinks until I reach for my phone and see his note. Running my fingers over his neat handwriting as I read, I smile. I had hoped we could spend the day together since my schedule was open after my morning meeting, but dinner will have to do.
I go through my morning routine thinking about last night. It was intense on every level. Sitting at the desk, I take out my notebook but just stare at the empty page. Instead, I pick up my phone and call Lanie.
“Hey, lady, what’s up?” she asks in the cheerful tone only she can have at seven in the morning.
“I’m going to tell him my name,” I blurt. “I’m going to tell him I like him and I want his number and that I want to see him after this week is over and that I’ve never felt like this with anyone in my life ever before. I’m going to tell him that the sex is out of this world, but it’s our connection that I don’t want to live without. I want to see where this can go, Lanes. I-I think I love him,” I say in a single breathe.
*Silence*
Looking at my phone, I bang it on my hand, “Lanes? Are you there?”
