Page 58 of The Beat of My Heart
Within seconds, the nurses have all kinds of wires attached to me, and the doctor is wheeling in a portable machine I recognize as an ultrasound.
In the next few minutes, everything happens in slow motion, yet I still don’t catch everything. I’m aware of my family being ushered from the room, and me being wheeled to a sterile, chilly room as bits and pieces of conversations float through my conscience.
“He’s breach.”
“Emergency C-section.”
“Clear the room.”
“Will she be okay?”
“What about the baby?” is the last thing I hear before the mask is placed over my face and the world goes black.
* * *
Trevor
-Daddy, Coldplay
Gasping,I wake with a start, clutching my chest. “Angel,” I say, even though I know it’s pointless. I can’t explain it, I just feel her. In my heart, I feel her needing me. Clumsily, I swat at the nightstand looking for my phone. Once I find it, I swipe up to see the time causing the music app to open, but I jab it off more forcefully than needed. Music breaks my soul without Angel in my life. It’s 3:07 am. I turn the light on, trying to remember what I was dreaming about and come up with nothing but an empty feeling in my chest.
Opening my nightstand, I pull out her t-shirt. I know it makes me a creeper, but something is wrong and I need to feel closer to her. Looking at the shirt, I do something I said I would never do again. Holding it in my hand, I climb out of bed and fall to my knees and pray. I pray that she is alright. I pray that I’ll be okay, and I pray that, someday, I’ll be whole again.
Part II
The Melody
Chapter 21
-Count on Me, Bruno Mars
Loki
Leaning back in my chair, I read over the reports my assistant had given me last week: Lanie Heart and Angel herself, miss Julia McDowell.
Listen, I’m not generally one to interfere in my friend's lives like this, but Trevor is losing his goddamn mind, and I’m afraid he will do something stupid before I get this case closed.
Then there’s Dexter. Fucking Dexter and his kids. These guys have been as close to brothers as I’ve ever had. I feel guilty for deceiving them for the better part of ten years, but it was the only way. As far as they know, I work for the “Agency,” though no one has ever come out and asked which one. In all fairness, I’ve made it nearly impossible for them to do so.
Someday, I’ll be able to tell them about my life… maybe. Eventually, perhaps they’ll even forgive me for all the lies I’ve had to tell, but today isn’t that day. In some ways, everything I’ve told them is the truth, at least in part. I am one of the good guys, and I am on their side, but everything else they know about me is a lie.
I work behind the scenes to bring down the monsters. When it came to light that Trevor’s dad was one of the biggest demons, I had to come forward. I’m not usually in the field, but knowing that I can be the one to set Trevor free, I’ll do whatever the fuck I have to. It’s the least I can do. It is, after all, my fault he is in this position.
Looking at the file again, it seems like a perfect fit. Having infiltrated Julia’s life, I know her best friend, Lanie, is looking for work and has been a nanny in the past. If I could get these pieces to fall into place, I might kill two birds with one stone, leaving me free to chase after Romero.
I’m getting soft as I get older. I realized it when I started having trouble separating Trevor and Dexter’s lives from my own. I need to get these two settled so I can focus, and the only way I can do that is to get Lanie down here as Dexter’s nanny. As close as these two women are, I have no doubt Julia and Trevor will cross paths once again.
Trevor made me swear to stay away from her. He doesn’t think he can have her, but I’ve watched him die a little more every day since he lost her. Trevor needs her more than he knows, and perhaps she can once again be the distraction I need to keep him occupied while I take down his last living relative.
Resolve in place, I tell my agents to inundate Julia’s computer with nanny agency ads and ensure her search engine shows Waverley-Cay as often as possible. Next, I place an agent on intercepting emails and phone calls from Lanie Heart. I’ve spent the last month watching these girls. Even if Trevor hadn’t already fallen in love with Julia, I would have given them my seal of approval. Lanie has had a tough life, but given all Dexter’s children have been through lately, I think she might just be what his kids need too.
Chapter 22
Trevor
“Hey, Loki,” I say, answering the phone. I’m in no mood for bullshit, “Please tell me you have some fucking news already?”
“Major waves today, dude,” he answers. This is Loki’s way of telling me our line is not secure, so I have to play along.
