Page 7 of The Beat of My Heart
“Ugh, fine! Fine. Lanie, do you remember how to decipher the code if I have to write it?” We had also come up with our own secret coding language years before, and I knew tossing that out there would get GG off my back for a while.
“I’ve got my cheat sheet at home,” Lanie says, laughing and bouncing on her toes like a sugared-up toddler.
“Good, I reckon I’ve done my bit then. You girls get to eatin’ before it gets cold.” GG stands and gives me a swat to the head—her version of a hug. “Be safe out there, Jules, and Lanie, I’ll expect some touchin’ updates.”
“Texts,” Lanie and I both yell after her. She just raises her hand and shuffles out the door.
There is always a sense of what the hell just happened after an encounter with GG, but this one might go down in the record books. Sitting across from Lanie at the table, neither of us move. We are both a little shell-shocked, but then she grins.
“Back to the one-night stands,” she sing-songs. “So, the rules. No actual names. Never leave the bar unless you are one-hundred percent sure you want the guy. Never go back to your own room and sneak out as soon as you possibly can.”
“You know a lot about one-night stands for someone who’s never had one,” I say skeptically.
“I’ve been doing my research. If you are hell-bent on having a little fun while you’re down there, we will do it right.” Lanie is grinning so broadly now, it makes me nervous. “Let’s get moving, it’s almost time for you to hit the road.”
Chapter 3
-The Wolf, Mumford & Sons
Trevor
Looking up one last time at the house that had once been my heaven and my hell, I put the car in reverse and back out. My knuckles are white as I grip the steering wheel, but I just need to get the fuck out of here. The shitstorm in my head is threatening to take over and I can’t let it. Not yet. I know the monster thinks he has won, but I know differently.
“He will get what’s coming to him,” Loki says, stirring me from my thoughts. Glancing over, I notice he is already on the phone. “Magnet phi, I need ears on target alpha. We’re expediting this package.”
Truthfully, I don’t really know what any of that meant, but I know Loki. He has been my friend since middle school. He, Dexter, Preston, and I have been a tight unit ever since. After college, he went to work in intelligence but has never really explained what he does. I’m not sure he can. These days, we just get a text from him saying he is ‘going dark’ for a while, and he will be in touch when he can. When we don’t hear from him for weeks on end, it’s a fucking nightmare. I often wonder if he knows how much we worry about him.
This last time, Loki had been gone for about three months when he showed up on my doorstep.
“Dude! You’re back,” I say, opening the door and embracing my friend. The worry I’d been carrying around while he was away vanishing instantly. “Why didn’t you let us know? Should I call Dex? Get him and Pres over here for a beer?”
“It’s good to see you, Trev, but I think we had better talk before we reach out to the guys,” he tells me.
Something in Loki’s demeanor tells me I won’t like what he has to say, and I’m on edge immediately. Waving him in, I take a deep breath and steel myself for what's to come.
“Trevor?” Loki questions and I realize I’ve yet to pull out onto the main road. Nodding once, I pull into traffic and know that, from this day forward, my only goal in life will be to bring an end to my very own father.
“I’m good,” I tell him. “I have to get to Dexter’s. I promised to stay with Tate so he could get the papers processed with the attorney. You want to come?”
Loki speaks, his voice full of disgust, “Had I known how badly Bitchzilla would fuck our man up, I would have been more of a dick to her from the start.”
Meeting him over the center console for a fist bump, I nod in silent agreement.
“Who the hell can walk away from their kids like that? What is she thinking?” Loki asks.
“I don’t know, man.” I say, shaking my head, trying to focus on my friend and the nightmare he has brewing now that his soon-to-be ex-wife dropped the bombshell of wanting a divorce, ten-thousand dollars, and no contact with her own kids.
“Dex will be even more messed up because this is what his mother did to him,” Loki says, speaking a truth we know all too well.
The four of us are all close, but Dex and I have been there for each other since we were barely walking. My mother treated him like her own until they took her from us. Now it’s Preston’s mom who has adopted us all.
“I don’t know that he will ever be the same,” I admit, trying not to focus on the hell my own life will be for the foreseeable future, but knowing I can’t bring my shit down on Dexter. Not now, not ever. “Loki, I-I want to make sure all this stays as far away from Dex and Preston as possible. Can we do that? Is it even possible to separate my life into fragments like that? To keep them safe?”
“I’ll do what I can, you know that. I know Dex feels like his world is falling apart, but if he had an inkling of what you were about to get yourself in—”
“No, Loki. Fuck!” I yell, cutting him off. I don’t mean to lash out at Loki. I know he is only trying to help. “I am not bringing this evil down on them. I will not allow the mistakes of my father to hurt anyone else that I love. I couldn’t save my mother; I’ll rot in hell before I let him or his goons get their hands on anyone else. That’s the end of it, Loki, I mean it. Keep Dexter and Preston out of this. Please,” I add more softly.
“He will be pissed, Trev, and hurt. You know that, right? We could find a way to clue him in, just so you have someone on your side you can talk to. When I go dark, you will be all alone in this until hell breaks free. Please, just reconsider bringing him or even Preston in.”
