Page 91 of The Beat of My Heart
“I know, Angel,” he says cockily as he lays open mouth kisses down my center, stopping just above my jeans where he licks from one hip bone to another.
Never taking his eyes off of me, Trevor undoes my pants. Hooking his thumbs into the waistband, he slowly lowers them to my knees. My body heats as I watch his gaze travel from my eyes down my exposed body. I hear him gasp just before he runs a finger along the C-section scar that runs just above my pubic bone.
“Fuck, Julia… is this from Charlie?” he asks.
Biting my lip, I nod. My body is not the same as it was when we first met. Charlie was an enormous baby, too big for my little body. I hadn’t ever given them much thought, but now, with Trevor staring at me, I’m feeling self-conscious of the stretch marks and scars.
“Thank you,” he says, confusing me.
“Thank you?” I ask.
“Julia, you carried our son thinking you’d never see me again. Your body went to war for him, I can see it here,” he says, running his finger along the jagged line. Running a hand up my sternum, he stops just above my heart, “And I can feel it here.”
I can’t help the tear that escapes, but I’m thankful when Trevor glides back up my body to kiss them away.
“I want to be here, Angel, to kiss away all your tears. To stand beside you as you fight your battles. I want to be a partner to you and the best fucking father to Charlie you’ve ever seen. I want to be part of your bedtime routines, and I want to hold your hand when your chaos comes. I want to be the one you turn to for comfort, the one you count on when life gets messy. I want to be with you always,” he says, his face just inches from mine, his body involuntarily grinding into me.
Smiling up at him, I say, “You want to be my puffin?”
“Your puffin?” He looks at me quizzically then glances around the room like he’s missing something. “I think for the first time, I have no idea what song you’re talking about.”
Shaking my head, “I say, never mind, doesn’t matter.”
Looking at me for one more minute to make sure I’m okay, he leans down for a kiss. Just before our lips meet, he says, “I want to be your everything, Angel. Forever.”
* * *
I waketo the noises of a full house. Flopping my arm to the other side of the bed, I find it cold and sit up immediately. Peering around the room, I see Trevor’s shoes on the floor, but his clothes are gone. Attempting to wipe the sleep from my eyes, I strain to hear what everyone is saying. It’s a full house for sure, I think I can hear at least ten people talking.
Finally, reaching for my phone, I squeak when I see it’s 10:15 am.What the hell? When was the last time I slept past seven? Scrambling to untangle my limbs from the sex-scented sheets, I land on the floor with a thud. Trevor is barreling through the door in less than a second, Charlie attached to his back like a monkey.
“Angel?” he asks with a crooked grin.
“What?” I snap.
“Whatcha’ doin’?” he says playfully.
“I-I’m getting up, why?”
Now laughing fully, he says, “Did you fall out of bed?”
“No,” I lie.
“You sure?” he asks, coming closer.
“Yup, just sitting here thinking about my day,” I force.
“Ah-huh. Okay, up you go,” Trevor says, lifting me to my feet and twirling me to untangle the sheets trapping my legs. “I never noticed in Boston, but you sleep like a cyclone. At one point, I was freezing my balls off only to find out you had twirled in the blankets like a burrito. I think I will have to get my own from now on,” he tells me.
Once I’m free, I take a step to the side to give Charlie a kiss. “You did a good job with this baby backpack,” I tell him. “He’s getting too big for me to carry him in it, but he does love it.”
“I like having him close,” Trevor says sheepishly. “I’ll carry him like this every morning. It definitely makes cooking breakfast easier.”
The weight of his words slammed into me—every morning.
“Every morning,” I repeat.
Noticing the change in my tone, Trevor places his hands on my shoulders, bringing me in for a hug. “We have to talk, Julia. I need to know what you’re thinking, but I will tell you what I want first,” he says.
