Page 119 of Romancing His Heart
“Holy shit. GG was right again,” Trevor mutters. “You’re a runner.”
“I thought Lanie had some fucked up mommy issues, but Sloane might take the cake.” For some reason, Julia’s comment makes me laugh.
I’m in emotional overload, and my body doesn’t know what to do next. I have to turn away from my sisters because their tears only encourage my own. Not knowing what else to do, I crumble to the floor and rest my head on my knees.
“Sloane?” Lanie’s gentle voice whispers. Peeking above my knee, I see Lanie is on the floor, face to face with me. “You’re scared. It’s okay, I’ve been there. When Dex started chasing me, I ran home as fast as I could.”
“Dex loved you, though,” I choke out.
“Oh, honey. I won’t pretend to know why Loki pushed you away, but I know what a man in love looks like now. There is no doubt in my mind that man loves you.”
“I-I don’t d-do relationships,” I stutter. I’m not sure why I am still fighting this—self-preservation, maybe? I just can’t admit that I love him, too.
Lanie’s smile is genuine, understanding, and full of sadness as she watches me. “I didn’t either. Dex had to fight for me.” She glances over my head, and her expression changes as she makes eye contact with her husband. When her gaze returns to mine, it’s determined, and I can see the love written all over her face. “I spent my entire life believing I was unloveable. I convinced myself I was too much trouble, too much work, too damaged to accept his love. But he never gave up. He pushed, and he fought for me. I have to imagine, living the life Loki has, he’s a little broken, too. Maybe, what you need to do is find a way to allow yourself love, and then go spread that knowledge all over him like the goddamn superstar you are.”
An unexpected giggle escapes my throat, and the noose around my heart expands a little more.
“You know what being part of this crazy family has taught me, Sloane?”
I return my attention to Lanie and shake my head. “No, what?”
“That family truly is what you make it. Parents can be assholes, but when you open your mind to love, family in all forms will find you. You have three amazing sisters. You have us, and I’m willing to bet, if you fight a little for him, you’ll have Loki, too.”
“I-I’m scared,” I whisper. “What if Loki meant what he said? What if I really can’t do relationships? I’m pretty messed up, Lanie. What if he just doesn’t want me?”
“Oh, chica. We’re all a little messed up. I don’t swear because of what some stupid jerk did to me when I was ten. I almost lost the best thing that ever happened to me because I was scared of love. The truth is, love isn’t something to be scared of, though. Love is something you choose. On the days you feel lost, choose love again. Look around you, Sloane. Love is all around. None of us are going to let you fail.”
Doing as she asks, I make eye contact with everyone. I don’t see pity or embarrassment. What I see looks an awful lot like unconditional love.
“Where the hell do you people come from?” I ask as a joke, but seriously, if ever there was a family I would want to adopt me, it’s this group of friends.
“Sloane, I’m so sorry you felt like we were all abandoning you,” Tilly cries.
Shaking my head, I swallow hard three times before my words will come. “No, I … we don’t. That’s a Sloane issue. It’s not anything you did. Please don’t apologize.”
“Sis, your issues are our issues, don’t you see that?” Emory scolds.
“We’re a package deal,” Dex reiterates. “You’re stuck with us. Now, let’s talk about how we’re going to make Loki yours.” The smirk that covers his face causes me to blush. This man means business, and I have a feeling there is very little he can’t accomplish when he puts his mind to it.
The front door swings open, and Preston walks in with bags of Chinese food. Something about the way he moves makes me wonder if he knows more than he’s letting on, but I’m drained. Emotionally, I’ve been hung out to dry, and I’m suddenly too tired to question him.
Is love something you choose? Am I strong enough to make that choice?Those questions are at war in my head the rest of the night, but with practiced skill, I smile, nod, and make it through the rest of the evening, pretending to be okay.
Chapter 39
Loki
Preston: I need updates. We found Sloane, and she’s in rough shape. Whatever you said shattered her. The guys are inside putting her back together, but they know you, man. They know you pushed her away on purpose.
Loki: I need more time. Keep her away. We got Vic this morning, but she isn’t safe until Mikhailov goes down, too.
Preston: How the fuck do you expect me to do that? Dexter’s in there making plans for MSL or MLS or whatever the hell he’s naming your love match. We can’t let Sloane hurt like this either, Loki. She’s a fucking toothpick. She’s not eating, and by the dark circles under her eyes, it doesn’t look like she’s sleeping either.
I have a visceral reaction to Preston’s last message. Knowing I’ve hurt Red to the point of physical pain shreds what’s left of my heart.
Loki: I need a couple more weeks, Pres. Then I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for the pain I’ve caused.
Preston: You better hope you have nine lives because I think you’re going to need them for this.
