Page 93 of Romancing His Heart
For how long?A voice in my head screams.How long until you leave me?I know it’s not a healthy dialogue, and I do my best to shut it down, but some demons are too ingrained to stay down for long.
“I want you for as long as you’ll have me,” Loki mumbles just before the soft gurgles of a snore escape his lips.
“I wish I could believe that,” I whisper.
Hours later, I’m still lying next to him, wide awake.
He says he wants me for as long as he can have me. What does that mean? Rolling in his arms, I watch his beautiful face—peaceful and at ease in his sleep.
“How long do you want me for, Loki?” I whisper, barely more than a breath.
His brow furrows in his sleep, and he pulls me closer.
“I love you, Red,” he mumbles.
Is he asleep?
My body stiffens, and my lungs scream with the air trapped there.What the hell did he just say?I watch his face for any sign of awareness, any indication that he knows what he just uttered, but his face remains passive and relaxed.
Loki loves me?
He can’t love me. Loki deserves the fairytale, the happily ever after, and that’s not me. I’m not even the fucked up heroines I write. I’m worse. He doesn’t mean it, and he’s sleeping. I can’t hold him accountable for what he says when he’s sleeping. Sleeping or drunk.
Right?Aren’t those the rules?
Ashton
Chapter 30
“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Seth asks from the doorway. With his shoulders hunched up around his ears, I have a physical reminder of how he feels about my plan.
“We’ve been over this. I don’t see another way. Ryan and I have spent two weeks combing through every piece of information we could find, and there isn’t even an inkling that Anderson is dirty. We have to go into this meeting assuming Luca is legit, but prepare for the worst.” Slumping into my office chair as the weight of what I’m about to do sinks in, I turn to Seth for guidance, but he cuts me off at the knees.
“How involved have you been in our missions over the years?” he asks flatly but enters the room and sits down across from me.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not a fucking imbecile, Ash. I know how smart Loki is, but I also know he gets his intel from you more times than not. How many of his missions were you behind?”
Running a hand over my face, I stall for time.
“What does it matter?” I finally ask.
He sits quietly, observing me, and it’s unnerving. When he finally speaks, I come to understand why Loki trusts him so much.
“It doesn’t. Not really, anyway. But, I’m always curious about the guys who prefer to hide in the shadows. It’s a rare quality to be a silent hero. I’m willing to bet you knew about Julia before Loki did. I’m also willing to bet that somehow you managed to put that bug in his ear without him ever realizing it.”
I shift in my chair uncomfortably.
“I’m not planning to blow your cover, Ash. Just help me understand why you work in the dark like this.”
Sighing, I lay my cards bare. If we’re going to be partners at EnVision he deserves to know my story or part of it at least.
“Mostly, it comes down to the fact that I’m a Westbrook. I have responsibilities that come with that name, so I couldn’t just enlist in the Nightingales like you two did.”
“They wanted you, though, didn’t they?”
Nodding, I let out a long breath. “I made a stupid error on Loki’s first mission. It wasn’t long before Montgomery found me. He pushed me, and I was close to signing up, but then I saw the pressure Preston was under after my father died. He was just a kid himself trying to run a billion-dollar empire.” I shrug my shoulders because there isn’t much else to say. “Family will always come first. I had to choose my family.”
