Page 103 of One Little Mistake
“I … East, I’m not sure. Do your homework. Fix yourself, then we can fix us.”
“I’ve never wanted to be an ‘us’ so badly in my life. You’re my team, Lexi. Someday, you’ll tell the world that you’re my wife?”
I know he needs reassurance. Can I give it to him? Staring into his eyes, I see a future somewhere in those depths, so I concede and give him what he so desperately needs.
“Someday,” I promise. “But not today. I-I have to go, East.”
He leans in and kisses my cheek. That’s when I notice his are wet with tears. We’re both hurting, but we need the space to work on ourselves. Therapy has taught me that. You can’t be a team until you can love yourself.
Slowly, I pull away and walk on trembling legs back to the truck. I need to get to Julia’s before I break down completely. After putting the truck in gear, I pull out of the parking lot. I’ve never been so happy to have my girls home as I am right now. I’m going to need them.
* * *
Iwake to tiny fingers lifting my eyelids. “You ’wake, Auntie? You ’wake?”
“Harper! I told you to leave Auntie Lexi alone,” Lanie scolds.
“It’s okay, Lanes. She’s fine.”
“You sure?” she asks, while worrying her bottom lip.
When I arrived last night, I had diarrhea of the mouth and spewed my life story from the last three years. The only thing I held back was my Vegas wedding. I’m not sure why, but I want to keep that just for myself right now.
“Lanes, I love your kids. Yes, it’s painful sometimes, but it doesn’t mean I love them any less.”
“Wexi woves me. Wexi woves me,” the little girl chants, making me laugh out loud.
“I do. I do woves you.” And for the first time in a long time, I say it without my chest trying to suffocate me.
“Are you sure?”
Rolling onto my back, I drag Harper with me, and she erupts into a fit of giggles. It’s nearly impossible not to be happy when a toddler gives you a full belly laugh.
“Yeah, Lanes. I’m sure.”
“You know, I think Easton’s good for you.”
Staring at the ceiling, I think about her words. “I do, too, Lanes.”
She comes to lie next to me—our heads together on the pillow, just like when we were kids.
“I’m sorry I was so wrapped up in my life that I didn’t see yours crumbling around you.”
“I got really good at hiding. You didn’t see because I didn’t want you to.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course. Ah, on second thought, it depends on what you’re asking. I’m not sure what kind of kink you’re into these days,” I tease, and enjoy watching my cousin’s skin turn crimson.
“Geez, Lex. I just wanted to ask about something you said last night.”
My body tenses, but I prepare myself by counting to ten. “Shoot.”
“You said the first round when you harvested your eggs? That round worked?”
I sigh because I know she’s hoping for a miracle.
“Yeah, it worked, but I can’t find the eggs. Mimi and I have been searching databases everywhere, and they’re nowhere to be found. I-I trusted Miles then. I assumed he had our best interests at heart, but he told me I’d never find them when I was trying to leave.”
