Page 59 of One Little Mistake
I have painstakingly carved her name into the top of the desk in a delicate scroll, so there’s no hiding the fact I made it for her.
Suddenly shy, I grip the back of my neck. “I did.”
Her finger traces the lines of her name repeatedly. “For me?”
“You’re the only Lexi I know.”
“But why? I mean, I’m pretty self-aware, East. I know I’m a bitch most of the time.”
“You may be self-aware, but I can see self-preservation in every lash of your tongue. We work when we’re bickering. It’s even fun sometimes, but don’t think for one minute you’ve hidden your pain from me, sweetheart.”
“Don’t, East. You’re my boss. You’re my … my boss. That’s why we work.”
I’m inching my way closer, and I hadn’t even realized I was moving. She’s like a magnet pulling me to her. I couldn’t stay away if I tried.
“I’m also your husband.”
She winces at my statement as if I’d struck her. I won’t lie, that was a fucking punch right to the gut.
“Come on, East. That was a mistake, and you know it … a drunken mistake. If it weren’t for Ash, we’d already be talking to a lawyer to fix this mess.”
“Some mistakes aren’t mistakes at all,” I growl my displeasure.
“One little mistake with you turned into one more and one more. How many before you finally admit I’m bad luck?”
“What if you’re a mistake I’m okay with making?”
She spins suddenly, and we’re face-to-face. Lexi places a hand on my chest as if to steady herself before speaking, then realizing what she’s done, tries to remove it. I’m too fast for her, though, and clamp my hand down over hers, holding her to me.
“Why are you pushing this, Easton? You don’t even know me.” Her voice cracks with the pain she won’t share.
“Why are you fighting it, Lexi? Iknowyou feel something when you’re with me, but you refuse to allow yourself to let go. Iknowthat you’re hiding, and that you’re hurting. Iknowthat you use an abnormal amount of French vanilla creamer in your coffee, and you suck on butterscotch candy when you’re nervous. Iknowthat you love and protect with your whole heart, but don’t allow yourself the same grace, so don’t tell me I don’tknowyou, Lexi. I may have a lot to learn, but that’s how this works. We learn from each other with every mistake, each conversation, every kiss.”
This time she does rip her hand away and turns her back to me.
“What do you want from me, Easton?” She yells, but sounds defeated. “I’m too tired to fight with you tonight.”
“I want you to talk to me. Tell me your story. Tell me why you’re afraid. Tell me what happened?”
“Not today.”
“Then when?” I demand.
“Maybe next time.” Her voice wavers, and I know she’s fighting hard to hold it together.
“Jesus Christ, Lexi. Let me in!” I bellow. “I’m here. I want to help, but you have to let me in. You can’t live your life in emotional lockdown like this. It’s not healthy. You have to take care of yourself, and sometimes that means letting the people who love you in. Let me in, Lexi.”
“Don’t do that, Easton.”
“Don’t do what?” I scream.
“Don’t use your Prince Charming complex to fool yourself into thinking you have feelings for me. I don’t need you to fix me. I don’t need you to take care of me. I don’t need you, Easton.”
Every word out of her mouth is a lie that cuts me deeply. It also pisses me off because I can see the emotion welling in her eyes.
“But do you want me, Lexi?” My words come out in a strained staccato. Will she lie to me again? Will she hide behind her words? Or will she give me this one little thing that I desperately need?
“You don’t always get what you want in life, Easton. I know that better than anyone.”
