Page 68 of One Little Mistake
I turn to the window. I can’t look at his pained face while I relive the worst day of my life.
“We were going to harvest my eggs and freeze them. The first round was okay. The second time, my body overstimulated from the injections, and one night I woke up in so much pain.” My voice breaks, and I have to cough to regain it. “I couldn’t move. I started vomiting, and Miles was convinced it was just the flu. We waited, and waited, and waited until the pain was so excruciating that I nearly passed out.”
Easton makes no move to comfort me. He just sits in the silence of the room, waiting for me to finish.
“At the hospital, we found out an ovary had twisted … ovarian torsion, they called it. We waited too long, Beast. That ovary had already died.”
“Okay, but there are opt—” I cut him off because there are no options, and the pain reflected in his eyes nearly guts me, so I turn back to the window.
Find your inner bitch, Lex. Let her protect you.
“Then, a few months later, I got pregnant. It wasn’t planned. By the time I found out, I had already learned about Miles and his family, but … but I would have loved that baby, East. I promise I would have.” This time I can’t control the sob that escapes.
The tears overrun my words, and I just have to let them flow. Easton chooses that moment to take me into his arms. He cradles me like a child and ushers me to the couch.
“Here.” He hands me a box of tissues that I gladly take. “Lexi …”
“No, East. I have to finish.” Staring into his eyes hurts too much, so I watch my fingers as they twist the tissue around my finger in a constant loop. “I had gone home to talk to Julia’s parents. I wanted to know if I could keep my baby away from Miles and the Black family. I had evidence. I needed them to help me protect her.”
Easton clears his throat, and I dare a peek. He has tears falling down his face, and I know I don’t deserve this man. I will only hurt him in the end.
“Mimi told me the evidence I had wasn’t enough. She needed more, something concrete, but she begged me not to go back. She said there were other ways, and we had time. I was only a few weeks along. We had time. B-But I was too impatient. I-I thought if I went back, just once, I could get the information we needed.”
“Locket …” Easton’s voice cracks as he takes my hand in his. I shouldn’t allow the comfort, but I need his strength.
“I-I went back. Back to Miles. He was already pissed that I’d left without telling him. I didn’t know Loki was closing in on them at the time. Loki didn’t exist in my world then. I just knew Miles was the bad guy, and I had to get away.
“He caught me going through his office the next day. He accused me of being a traitor, of turning him in. He yelled and screamed, but I felt numb. I tried to stay calm for my baby, but then a man came into the room with a needle. It only took a minute for them to hold me down, and the world went black around me.
“I woke up in a car, on a tarmac, and I knew if I got on that plane, I would never be free. He got me out of the car, and I tried to run, but the drugs he’d given me made my legs hang heavy. I began screaming for help, for anyone to help me, and that’s when the bleeding started. It wasn’t a lot at first, but we both saw it. By the time he got me on the plane, it was too much blood. I knew something was wrong, and I begged for him to help me. I pleaded.”
“Jesus, Locket. I’m, I—”
I hold up my hand, silently begging for him not to talk. I’m not done.
“Finally, he decided I needed a doctor, but I’d lost so much blood. I-I wasn’t even conscious. So I guess I should be thankful he brought me to Mass Mercey and didn’t let me bleed out on his plane, but more times than not, I wish he had.”
“Fuck, Lex.”
“When I woke up in the hospital, they told me I had lost her, but I could already feel it. I was empty. They said it was too early to tell the sex, but I know it was a girl. I know it.”
“W-Were you okay? I mean—”
“There was too much hemorrhaging … too much damage. They did a full hysterectomy to save my life. I’m empty, broken.
“You know, all I ever wanted was to be a mom. I didn’t have one, and Lanie’s was an abusive drunk. My entire life, I wanted to be the mom that my own didn’t get to be. I wanted to raise her to be a strong, independent woman. A caring, empathetic friend. I was going to raise her to be a good person, and because of my choices, she died.”
“Lexi, I-I don’t know what to say, sweetheart.”
“Don’t, just please don’t say anything. I’m broken, East, and I can’t be put back together. I don’t want to be put back together. Why should I get to be happy when my baby never got to smile?”
“You can’t live like this, Lex. Let me help you. Let me love you,” he begs.
“Love? How can you love a monster, East? You grew up in the fucking Brady Bunch. You have this big, perfect family, and that’s what you deserve. That’s what you’ll have. That’s why we can never work, don’t you see? I can’t give that to you. I can’t give that to anyone, so please, just stop. I’m not your problem to solve. I’m not a puzzle that can be put back together.”
“Lex, it wasn’t your fault.”
I shake my head sadly. He just doesn’t get it. “I don’t fit in here, Easton. Your family is happiness and light. I’m dark and damaged. You can’t be with someone like that. You need someone who can tell you to stop being an asshole. Someone that can make you smile and laugh even when you’re angry. You need someone better than me.”
