Page 20 of One Little Lie
“Why don’t you draw anymore?”
How does she know I don’t draw?
“Your fingers aren’t stained from the charcoal, Hatty. Either you use a different medium, or you don’t draw anymore. Why?”
“Fuck, my chest hurts.” I claw at it again, anything to make it stop. “I-I don’t draw, Rylan, because it’s my punishment for hurting you.”
“But … I don’t understand,” she gasps.
“Are you happy, Verity?”
“H-Hatty.” Her voice gives away her tears, and I feel my own form. “Why are you calling?”
“I miss you.”
“You hate me,” she spits. “You made that very clear a long time ago.”
“I’ve never hated you.”
“You never loved me either.”
“I—” My voice breaks, and I feel the euphoric state I was just in slipping. “We all loved you. That’s the problem.”
“I forgive you, Halton.”
Breathing becomes painful. My heart shatters every time she calls me Halton, but I answer as honestly as I can, “You shouldn’t.”
There’s silence, and I pray to all that’s holy she didn’t hang up.
“That’s why you’ve spied on me, right? Guilt?”
Guilt, heartache, stupidity, weakness. She can take her pick.
“I didn’t spy on you.”I made sure you were taken care of.
“Listen, I don’t know why you took that bet. I spent years wondering, but it … it hurt too much, Halton. I had to let it go. Your words were ugly. Your actions despicable. Regardless, I forgive you. You have to let it go, too. You have to letmego. We’re not the same kids anymore. That friendship has sailed, and I, I need to live my life.”
I bite my tongue so hard I taste blood. It’s the only way to ensure I don’t tell her I lied. That’s a pain that brands my chest every hour of every day.
“I don’t know how,” I finally concede because it’s the truth. I can’t love her, and I can’t let her go.
She gasps, and I have to close my eyes. I grip the bedsheets in my fist so I don’t go to her.
“How?” she whispers. “How did you know everything? Did you have someone following me?”
“Jesus, Rylan. No. I’m not a stalker.” My words sound off, and I think I might be slurring at this point.
“But I’ve never found you on social media. D-Did you block me?”
“Never.I’mnot on social media.”
“But you admit it was you, stepping in every time I fell?”
My eyes close to block out the pain. “I’ve never been far away,” I say softly. “I couldn’t. You’re my verity. My panacea.”
There’s a long silence, and I stare up at the ceiling, waiting for her to reply, so I don’t notice when she enters the room.
“Why, Hatty?”
