Page 38 of One Little Lie
Don’t I fucking know it? Rylan was always beautiful but never felt comfortable in her body. There was an innocence about her, something magnetic, entrancing, that no one else ever got to see. It was just for me. But now? Now she’s a goddess dressed like the girl next door. Her hair is fuller somehow. It shimmers more in the sun, and she has grown into a woman that could eviscerate a man with a single glance. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t noticed how shapely her long legs have become or the tits that must have developed after I left for college.God, her fucking tits are amazing.
Shifting my weight, I attempt to tamp down the raging hard-on just the thought of her tits causes. Shaking off my teenage fantasies, I stare straight ahead as I speak. “I don’t like it. What the hell is it?”
“It’s called ‘Exile’.”
I’m shaking my head, wondering why the hell this song, this Taylor Swift song no less, is putting me on the verge of a full-on panic attack.
“Change it.” My tone is harsh. More vitriolic than I intended, so I try to backtrack. “Please. Put on something … just anything else. Something that makes you happy. Please.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see her scroll through her phone and the music changes. I press a button on the steering wheel and glance at the console. Seeing it’s more Taylor, I relax. Then the words start, and goosebumps appear all over my body. ‘All You Had to Do Was Stay’.The song’s namesake is sung over and over again. Taylor’s voice blends with Rylan’s off-key version, and I know when this trip is over, for better or worse, we’ll never be the same.
Chapter 13
Rylan
Lexi: How’s it going?
Rylan: We just got to the ferry dock.
Rylan: Except for the initial conversation, all I’ve gotten out of him are grunts, and a few mumbled words when I had to pee.
Rylan: And he kept shifting in his seat like he was so uncomfortable he was trying to climb out of his skin.
Lexi: Or he was trying to hide a boner. That seems more likely to me.
I burst out laughing. She is seriously ridiculous. Hatty frowns and glances at me, so I shrug apologetically. What am I going to say? We’re talking about your dick? Another wave of laughter rolls through me, but I bite my lip to keep quiet.
Rylan: Pretty sure that’s not the issue.
Lexi: Listen, I won’t pretend to know what kind of relationship you guys had or have, but what were you guys like when you were younger? I know you said old souls, yada yada. But what I mean is Halt seems so reserved. I can’t imagine that’s completely new?
I examine her words for a long time with hunched shoulders before I finally answer.
Rylan: No, I was a free spirit, and he liked order, rules. I guess you could say we balanced each other.
Lexi: Have you changed?
Have I?
Rylan: I guess a little. Matthew wanted everything a certain way. It was just easier to go along with it.
Lexi: That’s not what I asked. Have YOU changed?
Rylan: …
Rylan: Without the expectations of others? Probably not. I would still stay up all night watching the stars. Go buy ice cream at 3 a.m. because I couldn’t sleep. Lose days because everything looks better through the lens of my camera.
I press send, then sit back and scrutinize my words.How had I lost myself so completely?
Lexi: Well, this seems like the perfect opportunity for you to dance in the rain. Maybe getting in touch with yourself will also bring Halt back to life?
I shift my gaze to the man sitting next to me. Beside me, but miles away. My stomach flutters with nerves. Those damn feelings of hope are taking over my body again.
Rylan: Or he could shatter me beyond repair.
Lexi: Only you can decide if it’s worth the risk.
Lexi: I swore to never let love in again. I can tell you firsthand that’s a worse pain than the rocky road love sometimes puts you on.
