Page 67 of One Little Lie
“Ah, or at least that’s what I would guess,” he confesses with the shyness of the boy I fell in love with.
“Yeah.” Reaching out, I take his hand in mine and keep walking.
He stares at our joined hands, and emotions I can’t identify play across his face, but he keeps moving.
“Matthew never knew that. Come to think of it, he really didn’t know me at all. It’s not all his fault. I never allowed him in. I didn’t have room for him in my heart, and if I had? I don’t think he would have liked what he found there, anyway.”
“Why do you say that, Rylan? You were going to marry him. Surely you must have lov— liked him.” He chokes on his words, and I can’t help but smirk.
“Matthew wanted someone who fit his world. Someone that conformed to his way of life, how he did things. How he liked things. What’s my favorite color?”
“Aqua.”
“He would have said navy.”
Hatty’s hand squeezes my fingers so tightly I wince and have to wiggle my fingers to get him to loosen his grip.
“Wh-Why are you telling me this?”
I tug his hand to force him to stop and look at me. “Because you know me better than anyone ever has. Something happened that morning with your dad.”
He pulls his hand free and starts walking again, but I don’t let up.
“It’s fine if you don’t love me anymore, Hatty. We’ve grown apart, but do you know why I never had room for Matthew in my heart?”
“Don’t push this, Rylan.”
“Don’t push what? The truth? Guess what? I’m done living with the consequences of your lies. I never made room for Matthew in my heart or my life because it was so full loving you. Even after you were a fucking tool, my heart still had space for you. You want to be friends now? Fine. But you can’t tell me you never loved me. I know you did. I felt it. It’s why I know what it feels like to be truly, wholly loved, and when I’m honest with myself, I never felt that from Matthew. But you know who I do feel it from? You, Hatty.”
When I glance up, I see we’ve made it to The National. Peering up the steep steps that lead to the large porch, I huff out a breath.
“Hatty?” My voice is harsh, and I hold my ground until he glances down at me.
“Fine. I did love you, Rylan, but sometimes love isn’t enough, and family has to come first. I’ll get us a table.”
He stomps up the steps, and I’m left gaping at him. He did love me. Past tense. And now I’m angry and confused, so I march up the steps with steam escaping my ears. Removing the hair elastic from my wrist, I angrily tug all my hair up into a high, messy bun. It’s hot as hell, and if I’m going to fight, I need my hair out of the way.
At the top of the stairs, I find him watching me with amusement and maybe a bit of fear. He knows I’m not letting this go.
“Was it your dad?” I ask as he sits down at a table overlooking the ocean. “Did he not like me? Did he think I wasn’t good enough for you?”
Hatty’s jaw sets, and even over the din of the restaurant, I can hear his teeth grinding.
“It wasn’t you he was worried about. Drop this, Rylan. I mean it. Nothing good will come of us heading down this road. Let’s have dinner, ask around about Pacen, and go home.”
I’m so frazzled I don’t know how to respond. Instead, I order a glass of white wine with my dinner and text the only people I can think of.
Rylan: I need help.
Lexi: Kiss him.
Rylan: He admitted that he loved me. Past tense. When I asked what could have happened, if maybe his dad didn’t think I was good enough, he said I wasn’t the problem.
Rylan: I’m so confused.
Ari: You love him.
Rylan: I do. But he said love isn’t enough.
