Page 117 of Your Last First Kiss
“Don’t look at me like that, newbie. He can’t use it against me, but if you’d killed him, he would have used it to hurt her,” he points to Penny, who stands alone in the center of the room with tears shining in her eyes and her chin trembling with the effort it takes to not fall apart in front of everyone.
“Or”—he lowers his voice—“he would have used it to keep you from those boys. They need a good influence. Don’t make me regret stepping in.”
He turns and steps over Eddy, grumbling about getting a new lock for his utility closet.
Two men push me out of the way and lift Eddy off the floor, but my attention is on Penny. On the hurt he caused. The embarrassment of this situation is written on her reddened cheeks and sad eyes.
When I go to her, Miller meets me inside the circle of people. He should have been watching Eddy. My entire body shakes with rage at him, at sweaty Eddy, at the entire fucking world.
“I’m so sorry, Pen. Mr. Higgins was choking on a chicken wing again, and I lost track of Eddy while giving him the Heimlich. Again. Do not listen to that asshole. None of that is true, and you know it. Do not allow him to drag you under again.”
It irks me a little less knowing that Miller hadn’t just forgotten, but I’m still pissed. I take Penny by the shoulders and turn her toward the front door.
A vaguely familiar woman rushes to me, hands me our jackets, and gives Penny a look I can only describe as understanding.
I nod in thanks and wrap my coat around Penny. I don’t have time to screw around with getting her arms in hers. Then I lead her out of the brewery.
She doesn’t speak until we’re sitting in the cab of my SUV. “He’s always going to hurt us.”
There’s no emotion in her words. They’re flat and lifeless, like he siphoned her spirit straight from her body with his bullshit.
“He won’t.” I can’t stand to see her like this, so I put the vehicle in reverse and start the short drive home. “He won’t.” It’s a vow, a promise. It’s one I intend to keep. I reach over and take her small hand in mine, but it lies limp. Linking our fingers together, I hold her tight.
“You’re not alone anymore, sweetheart. I’m in this with you, whatever you need. He will not ruin our lives. I won’t let him.”
“What about the girls?” she asks through a choked sob. “If Aster’s back, God. Those poor babies. They’re never going to know what safe feels like. And it’s so much worse than I feared.”
I glance over at her before returning my eyes to the road. “What do you mean? How is it worse?”
“Douglas Street. Eddy said he picked her up on Douglas Street.”
I glance over and she’s shivering, but not from the temperature. No, this is the kind of shiver that comes from true fear.
“You only go to Douglas Street if you’re looking for drugs, Dillon. All this time, I thought she was suffering some sort of depressive episode, but what if she’s been on something and I missed it?”
Penny’s words shred my heart to tiny bits and set them on fire. I keep imagining Lia holding onto my leg like a lifeline, and now I’m the one who can’t keep the tears from falling.
This entire situation is fucked, but it’s not hopeless. I won’t allow it to be.
“It’s not your fault, Penny. It’s not. You’ve done everything you could do. Those girls will know what it means to be safe and loved if it’s the last thing I do. Please just trust me, baby. I don’t have all the answers right now, but I will. I fucking will.”
* * *
When I pullinto Penny’s driveway, all the lights are off except for the entryway light.
Thank God.
I don’t know that either of us has the energy to put on a happy face right now.
We walk up her front steps in silence, but our connection is secured by the warmth of her palm in mine.
There’s a lifetime of baggage to work through, but as long as we have this connection, we’ll get through it together.
She unlocks the front door, and we enter. It takes my eyes a second to adjust to the dim lighting, but when they do, I find Kai sitting on the stairs. His eyes burn a hole straight into our joined hands and Penny breaks the connection immediately.
The weight of his stare hangs heavy around my neck. When he lifts his gaze to mine, his eyes are full of nothing but pure hatred and anger that he doesn’t know what to do with.
I recognize it because I lived with it for years. When the mistakes of our fathers trickle down to corrupt our lives, it feels like hell has opened up and claimed every inch of you with razor blades.
