Page 30 of Falling Into Forever
My chest collapses, and my breathing comes in short bursts. No one notices that I’m spiraling, though. Lena turns her attention back to Dante while my entire world is being put through a shredder.
He knows.
He knows my fears and my regrets.
He knows how I pathetically held out hope.
And he still came back.
Is that what I’d hoped for all along?
“So, you do have a plan, right?” Lena asks.
Dante says he does, but I’ve never seen him so crestfallen. In my mind, he’s always been Superman—above the pain we mere mortals feel daily.
“Kate Gerard is Saylor’s agent.” I don’t miss Lena’s flinch. I knew Kate was a hardass, but I didn’t know her reputation was this widespread. “She got the ball rolling tonight. We’ll hash out the details tomorrow.”
“What better way to silence all their claims than flooding the world with a real-life tragedy turned happily ever after? People are going to eat that up.” Lena sounds like she’s swooning, but my head is seriously about to explode.
“But we’re not,” I mumble. “We were friends. We. We’re…”
“More than I valued,” Dante says, with so much meaning packed into those four little words that I fight the urge to flee.
“Can you pull off a love affair for the ages? ’Cause I’ve got to be honest, Saylor is a little green and maybe a lot pissed off. I’m pretty sure she still hates you, and you already know I’m on her side there.”
My left eye twitches. In the book, I did place most of the blame on the hero. It wasn’t fair, but it’s what sells. Did he tell Lena the truth? How he left me here? And why? But she’s wrong about the hate part. I hate that I’ve loved him all these years. I hate that I couldn’t move on. I hate that nothing has changed, and my reasons for pushing him away are still valid. But I’ve never hated him.
Dante pierces me with his gaze—those eyes that have haunted my nights for years—and my stomach tries to flip. This is the connection I’ve never had with anyone else, and it’s the one that tells me he could still get me to drop my panties with a single command.
No. My panties stay on. On, Saylor! All the way on. I sink my fingernail into my earlobe when he stares at me. I’m so screwed. That’s all there is to it. He’s in my head, and if I don’t hold onto my self-control with both hands, he’ll be in my pants. Once that happens, my heart doesn’t stand a chance. But then he’ll witness the darkness when it finds me, because it always does, and we’ll both be fucked.
There’s no happy ending in this story for me.
“I know we can,” he says without shifting his focus from me.
“You do?” I ask.
He gives me a soft smile. “You’ve never put up with anyone’s shit. There’s no reason to start now.” He slowly scans me head to toe, prompting goosebumps to sweep over me. “We made some mistakes that cost us years we’ll never get back.”
I shake my head—it wasn’t a mistake. It was the right thing to do.
But he continues, “So, we might as well let the world fall in love with us while you learn to tolerate me again.”
His damn smirk hits me right in my core.
“Well, I like her already,” Lena says like we’re destined to be best friends. Her approval wraps around my body like poison ivy, and an unbearable itch flares over my skin. I can’t do friends. They lead to feelings and all the unpleasantness that comes from trying to deal with them.
Dante holds out his hand with his thumb and forefinger spread wide, and my throat goes dryer than the desert. When I don’t move, he leans down and fits the V they form between my thumb and forefinger, then he gently taps the delicate skin there with his thumb.
It used to be his reminder to put my claws away.
He tamed my sass, and I encouraged him to live loudly.
“Trust me? Just one more time?” he says under his breath without letting go of my hand.
I hate that my body reacts to the hope in his voice. I hate that I’m flooded with emotions trying to claw their way to the surface. I hate feeling so out of control but not swirling with the darkness that can keep me in bed for days. But mostly, I hate myself for knowing so intrinsically that this man will always own a piece of my soul.
Why am I doing this?Aliens. That’s what it is. Aliens have taken over my body. It’s the only explanation for even considering going along with these idiotic plans that will surely send me spiraling into the abyss of depression when he leaves.
