Page 95 of Falling Into Forever
“Promise you won’t end up resenting me if I can never be the Saylor I used to be.”
“Oh, baby.” My heart splits in two, and pain sits like razor blades in my gut. “I won’t resent you for that. No one is the same person they were six years ago or even two weeks ago. We’re constantly evolving, but now we’ll grow and learn together.”
“This is all so fast,” she says again. “I’m afraid you don’t understand what you’re getting into with me. When the sadness comes, and it will come, you might hate me, or worse, leave me for dragging you down into it with me.”
“It is fast, and it’s not fast enough. There’s love here, Sayls. Between us, the love will always exist. The bad days will come, and I’ll love you. The sad days will come, and I’ll love you. The hard and happy and shocking days will come, and I’ll love you. And because of that, we’ll weather your storms and embrace the life we can have together. Love is about the good, the bad, and the ugly, and I’m here for it all, Sayls. I’m here for it all, and I’m not leaving.”
I pepper her cheeks, forehead, and lips with kisses, then wrap two protective arms around her like a shield and hold her in silence for a few beats. I hold her until her pulse evens out and her body releases the tension that was holding her muscles hostage.
“So,” I say. “This party. Remember how I said all those people love you?”
“Yeah,” she mutters into my chest.
“Well, they’re also more observant than I gave them credit for. They want this for you. And they want it for themselves. They’ve missed you.”
She pulls away and studies my expression. “What does that mean?”
“It means Adam brought over a grill. Cassie brought over some food. Ainsley stopped and picked up the dessert. Grady and Harrison are building a firepit on the beach. They’ve missed you, sweetheart, so they brought the party to you, on your terms, in your space because they love you enough to make concessions to fit into your life any way you’ll allow. And I will too.”
She stands and presses her nose to the window like a wounded little girl as the activity unfolds in her backyard.
“That seems like a lot of work for one person.”
Shaking my head, I stand behind her, and rest my chin on her shoulder. She has no idea how loved she is. “That’s my point. They’re willing to do it because that’s what you do when you care about someone.”
“What do I have to do?” There’s a slight tremor in her voice that gives purchase to her fears, but I’m so proud of her because it means she’s not backing down. She’s taking control of her life, or at least controlling the pieces she can, and I’ve never loved her more.
I kiss her shoulder, then turn her to face me. “All you have to do today is be yourself. They’ll understand if you need space, but they’re here to show you that they’ve never left you and they never stopped caring. So try to embrace what they’re offering, even if you have to do it from the periphery for a while.”
“I’m nervous.” Her chin quivers, and I smile, hoping I’m able to mask the sadness of the moment from her.
Of all my failures in life, leaving Saylor alone was my worst. Maybe I couldn’t have fixed her, but I could have supported her. And I’ll spend a lifetime correcting that mistake.
“You survived the Lemon Fest.”
“You were kissing me,” she huffs.
“If that’s what it takes to put you at ease, I’m at your service day and night.” She shakes her head, but a snorted giggle escapes too. “I’ll be by your side the entire time,” I say more seriously.
She looks at me and presses her lips into a thin line. She doesn’t believe me. But she will.
“I promise. I need to shower and change. You go make a big thing of lemonade for the kids, and I’ll meet you in the kitchen, okay?”
“You promise?” she asks, insecurity lacing her tone.
I swallow past the emotions clogging my throat.
Bending at the knees so we’re face to face, I kiss her softly. I’ll never stop loving how her lips mold to mine every time.
“I promise.” It’s a vow that she swallows down when I deepen the kiss. By the time I pull back, she’s a little dazed, and there are no visible signs of stress to be found, but now that I know they live inside her too, and I’ll help her fight through it all.
I always knew love could heal, but who knew kisses could ease the soul?
I turn her toward the kitchen. “Make the lemonade. I’ll be out in ten minutes.”
She walks away but glances over her shoulder three times, like she’s trying to convince herself that I’m real. Then she turns into the kitchen, and I take the fastest shower of my life.
CHAPTER26
