Page 121 of Love Notes & Lifelines
Her eyes crinkle. “Do you have children?”
I hesitate and finally answer honestly. “I do. I’m raising my sister’s little girls.”
“Oh, that’s a big job, young man. A big job indeed.”
“Do you have any advice for me?”
Her gaze holds me hostage. “Little girls want the same things big girls want. They want to be loved and protected without someone clipping their wings. They want to assert their knowledge without repercussions and have the security that comes with knowing no matter how hard they fall, someone will always be ready to help them up.”
I scratch behind my ear, and that turns into pulling on the muscles bunched at the base of my neck while she studies me.
“Oh.” Stella stops short in the doorway. “Sorry. I thought you were still on the phone.”
Her smile is infectious. She glances from me to her mother, who regards us curiously. But the hairs on my arms stand on end when I witness the shift happen in Laura. The confusion that blankets her is like a curtain at the end of a Broadway play—it falls heavy and final over her eyes.
“Is everything okay?” Stella asks.
“Who are you?” Laura studies my face without any signs of recognition. It stings, but when she turns the same worried expression on Stella, salty emotion clogs the back of my throat.
Suddenly the weight of the pain Stella carries sits around my neck, and it’s not fair that there’s nothing I can do to help her. None of this is fair. This room—all the life that gets snuffed out here. Will it always be a reminder of death?
Stella speaks in hushed tones, but I stand and back away until I reach the door, then turn and leave the room searching for fresh air. New life. And I find it when Ruby’s babble radiates innocence in the monitors we have throughout the house.
I take the back stairs two at a time, desperate to reach her. Or desperate to be away from that room. I’m not sure which.
Ruby’s sounds of joy and happiness wash over me as I approach her door, and when I open it, her round little face, rosy with sleep, pops up over the crib railing. The second recognition shines in her eyes, it glows around me with the power of a thousand hugs.
“Hey, Ruby-roo. Did you have a good sleep?”
She removes her fist from her mouth and drool covers every inch of it, but that smile. That crooked smile that matches my own pulls at something deep within me.
“You’re going to be trouble. I can feel it.”
Her eyes twinkle, but they’re not like mine or Emmy’s. Hers are the same vivid blue as her father’s.
Davis.
Cally.
Their girls.
I have no doubt Cally is still trying to tell me something, and if I don’t figure it out soon, it’s possible we’ll lose the only place that has ever been home to these girls.
Laura’s words echo in my mind. The ones about security and regrets. I don’t want to have regrets when it comes to them, and I want to give Stella the security she deserves.
Would Stella describe her childhood the same way her mother did?
“Daddy Beck?” Emmy’s words whoosh around me in slow motion.
“Hey, lovebug. You’re up too?”
She nods and rubs her eyes with the palms of her hands while I pick up Ruby. When I look at Emmy a little closer, I notice that her color is off. She’s holding her ear with one hand and Daisie’s neck with the other.
“What’s wrong, Ems?”
Her chin trembles, but she juts it out, attempting to stay strong.
“It’s okay, lovebug. You can tell me. What’s up?”
