Page 26 of Love Notes & Lifelines
“No. Thisfeelslike an emergency.”
“Are they bleeding?”
“What?”
“Are they bleeding?”
Ruby happily babbles in the background.
“No, of course they’re not bleeding. Why would they be bleeding? Do they just bleed randomly? Holy Christ. When do they get periods? Is that what you mean? I can’t change a diaper and talk about periods too.”
“Beck, are you listening to yourself?” Of course not. He’s a smart man who’s drowning in fear right now.
“What?” he asks again.
“You just asked me if the girls were getting their periods. I’m sure you took health class in high school. When do girls get their periods, Beck?”
“Shit. When they’re teenagers. Then why would they be bleeding?”
“I was trying to make a point and didn’t realize you’d already jumped off the deep end. They aren’t bleeding. They’re breathing, eating, and sleeping as well as any other time you’ve seen them, correct?”
“Yes.” That one word heaves with grumpiness.
“Then this is not an emergency. They need love, Beck. And they need stability in an unstable time. Give that to them.”
“I’m trying,” he says more calmly than I’ve heard him today.
“I know you are.”
“Why does your voice soothe me?” he asks, and the fear locks my muscles again.
“I just have one of those tones. Are you okay now? I have some other appointments I need to get to.”
“Yeah, I’m okay.”
“Good. Take a nap with them today. It’ll do you some good.”
“Fine. Okay. We’re heading into the office this afternoon, so maybe I’ll grab one while my attorney’s assistant watches them.She’s the only one I’m comfortable leaving the girls with and she keeps turning the nanny position down.”
Crap. It’s true, but I need the benefits this corporate job at Crystal Waters offers—and as far as I can tell, nannies don’t get that. Working as a nanny was the first thing I thought of when I lost my teaching job, but I axed the idea when I found out I’d need to have a very flexible schedule, not to mention health insurance, which costs a fortune.
“I’m sure she has her reasons,” I say. “Everyone has a story, and not all of them are easy to share. Deep breaths—you’ve got this.”
I hang up before he can say anything else and immediately call Elijah.
“Hello, sweetheart. How are the passengers today?”
“I want to go see my mom. Can you cover for me if Caleb has a meltdown?”
“I’ve got you, babe! Do what you’ve gotta do. But heads up, Beck’s coming in with the girls at two.”
I glance at the clock. That means I’ll have thirty minutes with Mom. “I know. He just toldJane. I’ll be back before he is.” I say it like a curse and am so tempted to hang up, but because I’m in his car I hold my tongue. “Thank you, Elijah.”
“Anytime, Stella.”
I drop the phone to my lap, then make my way to Mindful Moments, silently praying that today will be the day she remembers me because I need my mom more than ever, and the sad reality is, I may never have her again.
“How is she today, Lucía?”I ask as I approach the front desk.
