Page 50 of Love Notes & Lifelines
Beck frowns and his Adam’s apple bobs unnaturally.
“I outsource,” he finally says. “It isn’t the same thing as trust.”
My stomach drops as though I’ve been kicked, and I don’t know how to respond to that or why it stings like a personal insult, but it does.
“It’s not just you,” he clarifies. His hand lands heavily on my shoulder. It takes every ounce of willpower not to shrug him off. “I outsource what I can’t do so trust on a personal level is unnecessary—my life is Crystal Waters.”
I nod and can’t quite make my lips sit normally. They’re pressed together so tightly that I’m probably frowning in that exaggerated way that clowns have. “You can call it whatever you want, but at its foundation, the definition is the same.” Turning to Emmy, I lean down to dislodge his hand from my body. “Emmy? What do you want to take with you, sweetie?”
She holds up her book in one hand and places her other around Daisie’s neck.
“Anything else?”
Emmy steps forward and reaches for her sister.
“You just want the book, Ruby, and Daisie? What about any of these toys?”
She shakes her head. “Wuby and you.”
Well, if that doesn’t stab my eyeballs with emotion.
“Shetrusts you,” Beck says. “That’s what matters.”
I stand and hold Emmy’s hand. “If you say so, Beck. But having a live-in nanny isn’t the same as hiring an attorney who has their own office. It’s personal. That means you have some level of trust in me too or this will never work.”
Beck shutters his eyes behind an emotionless mask, and I take a step back.
Am I doing the right thing? Moving in with a complete stranger?
SDH did a background check on him, sure. But how thorough are they?
“I don’t dopersonalanymore, Stella. Even when I want to.”
He walks out of the room and takes his lie with him.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
BECK
A pacifier hitsthe windshield and I duck even though it’s already on the dashboard. “How the hell can she throw it backward like that?” I ask over Ruby’s cries.
“Maybe you should pull over and I’ll sit between the girls back there. Ruby can’t see anything sitting backward, and she obviously isn’t happy about it.”
I groan at the same time my stomach rumbles. Why the hell is there so much traffic? It’s not even summer yet. “We’ve already stopped six times in two hours.”
Stella reaches into the diaper bag at her feet and hands me a granola bar. “Welcome to parenthood, Beck. Pull over. What the heck did Daisie eat anyway? She’s as much to blame as Ruby.”
“Who the hell knows. She’s become a savage at dinner time. And why is she just Daisie now? Don’t I get to name my own damn dog?” That was whiny. I need to grow the fuck up.
“There’s a rest area up ahead. Go there.” She points through the windshield. “You named her Dog, Beck.Dog.”
“I didn’t mean to keep her,” I mutter, and the dang dog huffs as though I insulted her.
“But you did, and you’ll have to take up her name with Emmy.” She smirks and slips out of the car as soon as I park.
I stare at Emmy in the rearview mirror. She sticks up her chin in challenge. For crying out loud. I can’t win against a four-year-old and Stella knows it.
My fists are clenched on the steering wheel as I try not to stare at Stella while she climbs over Emmy’s car seat, but my fucking eyeballs have a mind of their own.
