Page 91 of Love Notes & Lifelines
I swipe angrily at the emotion betraying my wants and before I remove my hand, I’m airborne and cradled against Beck’s chest.
“What are you doing?”
Is that why he holds me this way? Does he think I’m so broken I need to be sheltered like a child?
“I’m taking you to bed.” His voice is husky as he takes the stairs two at a time and enters my room a moment later.
He’s backlit by moonlight as he lays me down, kicks off his shorts and T-shirt then slides into bed wearing only a pair of red boxer briefs.
Oh my God. Is he staying in here?
His heavy arm is a vice around my middle, and he drags me across the mattress so he can mold my body to his. I glance down and find his fist nestled between my breasts, and he uses it to keep my upper body close to his. So close that his heart beats against my shoulder blades.
We’re silent for so long that I finally allow myself to relax. Only then does he whisper into my ear.
“I may not know a lot about relationships, but there are two things you need to understand. One, I’m a fast fucking learner. And two, you are relationship material, Stella Jane.” His heart rate thrums faster at my back. “You might be the only kind of relationship for me. Understand?”
A response, any response, is beyond me. He rolls me to my back, cups my cheek, and scans my face. What I find in his haunted eyes should scare me—it should send me running home, but it doesn’t. Instead, I curl into him even more.
Sheer determination marks every inch of his face.
“Tell me you understand.”
“I understand.” Though I don’t believe it. He isn’t supposed to get attached to me. I’m damaged, and this kind of damage would tank his reputation—and then what would happen to the girls?
You have to tell him, Stella. You have to walk away.
His eyes narrow into slits as he appraises me before lowering his lips into the most heartbreakingly gentle kiss. “You don’t, but you will,” he vows over my lips. Then he pulls away, rolls me back to my side, and says, “Go to sleep, Stella. You have an early morning and an even longer day.”
“The laundry.” Why am I putting up a fight? Survival instincts maybe?
“Leave it. You’re not alone. I’m not alone. It’ll be an adjustment, but we’ll learn to count on one another—together, because we’re in this together now, Stella. All in. Now go to sleep.”
His breathing evens out, but the way he cradles me tells me he isn’t asleep. I hold out as long as I can, but eventually, sleep drags me under.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
BECK
The alarmon Stella’s phone blares and she’s slow to turn it off. I haven’t slept at all because my mind wouldn’t shut up. It ran through every terrible scenario my messed-up brain could muster.
Why would someone tell her she’s not relationship material? Who would tell her that? An ex? The mother who hits her? My mind conjures the worst because I don’t know her truth—but I know someone tried to break her. She’s dealing with more than a bad breakup, and whoever did this to her still haunts her heart.
How do you know?my conscience teases.What do you know about relationships, anyway?
Even my thoughts are an asshole today.
Was I wrong to push her last night?
Maybe.
Probably.
But a switch flipped inside me the day I saw her doing yoga on the beach and it lit me up like a goddamn Christmas tree. And seeing her confidence fail right before my eyes last night—it broke me a little.
She’s still keeping herself from me, still has walls up, and I haven’t purchased a ladder yet because I’m no better. I’ve beentrying to keep emotional distance between us. It was my idiotic way of protecting myself, and for what?
Stella finally rolls over and turns off the alarm with a groan that my cock responds to. She freezes when it reaches for her.
