Page 28 of Love Notes & Lifelines
Because it’s only the random shit I’m forgetting. Not the sound of Stella moaning into my mouth, no, that sound is so engrained in my memory not even pure bleach could wash it away. And yeah, I’m even more fucked up now because, in my head, she sounds like Jane and Jane looks like Stella.
Before the girls, I simply stormed by her desk every day without a hello. Now, I’m surrounded by her, and it consumes pieces of my brain I don’t have to spare. My body refuses to forget how she pressed against me, even if my mind tells me it has to.
“Are you girls ready to play today?” she says into the crook of Ruby’s chubby little neck right where I found a random Cheerio earlier. If I were ten feet away, I wouldn’t hear her.
But I remember how she sounds when she melted into me, and it’s fucking glorious.
Jesus, Becker. Grow up. That’s not helping anything.
Then her gaze is on me again and my body heats as though I’m being roasted over an open flame.
“Caleb said he can’t deal with the temp today and insists I stay at my desk.” Is she trying not to roll her eyes?
My lips twitch and I do it for her. “Did he give a specific reason why?”
Stella shakes her head.
“Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret then. Caleb prefers control, and when he doesn’t have it, he gets pissy.” I take a few steps closer, and angle my head, silently inviting her in to hear my secrets. Her scent invades my senses—fresh and sweet. Apples.
I stand upright and clear my throat. Lack of sleep, that’s what’s making me think with my dick. It has to be because never once, in all of my life, has one make-out session, in a bar full of people, taken control of my entire life as Stella has.
“The best part about being the boss,” I say, pretending I didn’t just inhale her, “is that I can shuffle employees anywhere I like.” Involuntarily, I take one tiny step closer and bask in this heady sensation when her pupils dilate. “Do you mind watching the girls for a few hours today, Stella?”
God. Damn. Even her name tastes sweet on my tongue.
“No,” she whispers with a shaky exhale. “I don’t mind.”
With that, she turns, takes Emmy by the hand, and leads her into the large room separating my office from Caleb’s.
She doesn’t get two steps before Caleb’s voice cuts through the air with the precision of a whip. “Not again. I needed you at your desk today. Having too many people mess with my filing system disrupts everything.” He doesn’t quite hiss, but my body responds like it’s a personal affront anyway.
Daisie Dog jumps between them and snarls at Caleb. It actually causes me to back up a step. She’s made unhappy sounds before, but this is a warning—a warning to stay away from Stella and the girls.
Maybe the damn dog isn’t so bad after all.
“Daisie,” Emmy scolds with that little finger outstretched. The dog backs into Emmy but keeps her teeth bared in Caleb’s direction. “Good, Daisie.” The little girl embraces Dog’s neck and whispers something with a small smile.
“This isn’t a farm,” Caleb huffs.
I pointedly ignore the farm comment by crouching down beside Emmy and placing a hand on the mutt’s head. “Is there a specific reason you can’t make do with the temp, Caleb? I know you’re very particular about how you do things, but surely, it’s not so difficult that someone else can’t do it.”
His face blanches for a millisecond at my cold tone before his mask falls into place. “But Ms. Anderson wasn’t hired to be a nanny,” he grumbles.
“Well, that’s only because she keeps turning me down.” I’m taunting him now, but it’s also the truth. I’d give my left nut to have Stella in my home playing house with the girls.
Fuck me.
The muscles around Caleb’s mouth pull tight, and I can tell it’s an effort to keep his mouth closed.
“So as I was explaining to Miss Anderson,” I continue, “ifshehas no objections, she will be in charge of the girls while we bust outmythree meetings.”
The new girl Elijah trained yesterday is sitting at Stella’s desk, and I nod, but she’s no Stella.
“I’m sure her assistant can handle everything for a few hours, and if she has a question, Miss Anderson is right here.” I point to the corner of the room that now has a basket of toys, an art easel, a dog bed, and a dollhouse.
I glance at Elijah, and he winks.
“My assistant has an assistant now? What is this madness?” Caleb’s tone is even, but I can tell it’s taking him great effort not to lash out. He truly hasn’t been the same since his wife died, but his reactions to Stella are out of character, even for him.
