Page 130 of Late Nights & Love Lines
“Come here.” Opening my arms, I say a silent prayer that she won’t shut me out. But she has to come to me.Run to me, Rowan, please. Runtome, not away from me.
She closes the distance and drops her forehead to my chest, and I sag with relief.
“If it hadn’t been Jake, it would have been someone else.” Her monotone voice cuts me to my core.
Taking her hand in mine, I lead her to the sofa. I sit, and she flops down beside me. My arm drops to her shoulders, and I take a deep breath when she leans into me.
“Haley’s father is a horrible man. A financial advisor by day, preacher on Sunday’s, and the worst kind of monster behind closed doors.”
My heart is beating so hard I’m almost surprised it isn’t leaving an imprint on my T-shirt with each crash against my ribs.
“The abuse started as soon as he moved in. He had toretrainme because my father had failed. That’s what he said. My father had just died, and Tony told me all the ways my father was a failure.”
“I’m so sorry. It’s inadequate, and nowhere near enough, but I am sorry.” We should have saved her.
“It’s not your fault,” she says quietly. “Haley learned quickly that her punishments were lessened the more I received. Wenever stood a chance at having a relationship. We were pitted against each other from day one. My mother was indifferent toward me, but she loved Haley. I became the family punching bag. Now, here we are. She spent her childhood learning how to one-up and outdo me, and she figured out early on how to inflict the most amount of pain while doing it.”
“Fucking hell.”
Rowan smiles up at me, but it’s so sad my eyes well up.
“She made sure I caught them having sex. It was March twenty-second—the anniversary of my father’s death.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“I made sure no one would ever be able to hurt me again after that.”
My hand slides under her back, and I pull her into my lap.
“That’s my story—that’s why I’m the way that I am. Now you understand why you need to focus on your family. Mya’s sick, Seb. And because of me, you might lose?—”
“I’m not losing anything,” I interrupt.
“But Mya, the kids. You have to speak to her.”
“Tomorrow. Tonight, the only thing I need to do is hold you and know that you’re okay.”
Her breath catches in her throat, but she nods. “Tonight,” she whispers.
We sit in the silence of what she didn’t say—she didn’t give me her tomorrows—and eventually, she starts to doze off. Then I carry her to bed, once again feeling her slip through my fingertips. I’m not sure if there’s anything I can do to make her stay this time.
“Areyou sure you want me to go with you? It already feels a little antagonistic. Don’t you think having your hookup sit in on a meeting with your ex-wife will make things even worse?”
We’ve never put a label on what we are. Rowan utilizes tactics to put space between us, and calling herself a hookup is one of them, but I won’t have it. I have a six lane pileup on my hands, but she’s the one element I need to untangle all the rest.
The reality is, I need her by my side. Even though she’s itching to run, I need her to stay with me through all these tiny battles so we can win the war. I’m stronger with her by my side.
“Don’t do that, Peach.”
“Don’t do what?” She tries to slip her hand from mine as soon as the elevator doors open, but I hold tighter.
“You’re not just a hookup and you know it. I love you, Rowan Melody Ellis. I need you here.”
She gulps but nods, and I lead her into the restaurant. I changed our meeting location at the last minute to mitigate any more fallout from landing on Beck’s doorstep. Mya also won’t make a scene in this hotel, so that’s a bonus.
I spot Mya as soon as we enter. Every ounce of love I thought I held for this woman evaporated when I found her with Nick. And now I can’t even muster an ounce of sympathy.
She spots us as we weave through the tables, her gaze glued to where I clutch Rowan’s hand as if I’ll never let it go.
