Page 37 of Late Nights & Love Lines
My little girl starts chewing the side of her nail. “I tried to help her, but she told me to try and hear the music because she wasfine.” She accentuates the word with an eye roll.
“What’s wrong with that woman?” I say more to myself than anything.
Seren opens her mouth and closes it multiple times while I wait her out. She appears to be collecting her thoughts, and I don’t want to rush her. This is the longest conversation I’ve had with her in months.
“She doesn’t have anyone to count on, Daddy.” My gaze snaps to my little girl. Daddy is becoming a less frequent moniker, and I miss the hell out of it. “She doesn’t even have any friends other than her boss and Pappy. Like, none. It makes me…” She peers down at her notebook again. “It makes me sad for her. She must be so lonely, and it hurts to be lonely.” She won’t lift her gaze to mine, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that she’s talking about herself now. “But I think she’s been lonely her whole life, and that hurts. I didn’t want to like her. But now I kind of do, and I’m sad for her.”
I didn’t think my heart could shatter any more than it already had, but my little girl just proved me wrong.
I stride to the bed, drop the ice bag on the blanket, and place my palms on either side of her. “I like her too, and I’m so glad that we’re on the same page, Seren. But…” I swallow and roughly tear my gaze away. “Rowan is only our temporary nanny. She moves around a lot and enjoys experiencing new things. She’s going to leave at the end of the month. You understand that, right?”
“I know that’s what she said.” Pouty, moody Seren is back. “But…”
“We can’t get our hopes up for something that has very clearly been explained as a termination date.”
Goddamn it. Will Seren view the loss of Rowan as another sledgehammer to her already fragile heart?
“She said she’ll write to me when she writes to Pappy.” My little girl loses the life that filled her words only moments ago faster than water escapes a broken dam.
“I’m sure she will, baby. I think Rowan is someone who keeps her promises.” Even if that promise is to run.
Seren leans back against the wall, staring straight through me.
I hold up the bag of ice, and she nods. “I’m going to go find little Miss Stubborn and make sure she puts this on her ankle.”
She graces me with a curious smile. “It’s okay if you like her too, Dad. Maybe she needs a friend like you.”
Oh, sweetheart. My biggest fear is that I’ll end up wanting to be much more than friends.
“Maybe,” I say instead.
She stands and wraps me in a hug. It hits harder than a baseball bat to the head. “I love you,” she whispers. “I’m going to bed.” I can’t speak, so I kiss the top of her head and allow my gaze to follow her as she walks down the hall to her room. As soon as her door closes, I stomp up the stairs, flittering between anger and annoyance with each step.
I reach the third-floor bathroom and pause at the door. I hadn’t really thought this through.
But I’m suddenly so pissed that thinking clearly isn’t a priority any longer. How dare she get my daughter to like her. Yes, I’m aware that I’m being unreasonable, but what the fuck am I going to do when Rowan runs? It’s not as though I can force her to stay with us.
Can I?
No.
Freaking hell, she’s making me lose my damn mind and it’s only been a week.
Glancing over my shoulder, I’m relieved that the door to the bunk room is closed. I stand in the hallway and bang on the bathroom door.
“Rowan,” I bark. Generally speaking, I’m not a yeller, but damn, does it relax me right now.
No one has ever riled me up this way before, and the sad part is, I’m fairly certain she’s not even trying to do it. Lucky me.
The water turns off, and she says, “Sebastian? What is it? I’m in the shower.”
“Are you decent?”
“What?”
“Are you covered?”
“Ah, yeah?” she says like a question.
