Page 104 of Heart Strings & Hotlines
Battles of the heart and mind generally lead to destruction, and I can’t be the one lost to the wildfires of our infatuation.
Without fear, I have no compass. My fear is what has gotten me to where I am today. It’s why my trust fund sits untouched and my company was built with sweat equity. It’s why my father can’t control me or bend me to his will. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done alone. I know how to function in the tracks I’ve created.
Thane wants to straddle those lines, blur them and make them ours, while I’m a runaway train with no brakes.
We have to step back, even if it hurts.
“Charlotte.”
I suck in an audible breath. Thane’s staring at me as though he’s said my name a few times, and my cheeks heat in embarrassment.
“Are you okay?” He reaches forward and rests his large palm on my knee.
“Yes, sorry. What were you saying?”
“I’ll need to stay in Rafe’s room after tonight. I can’t leave Kara alone over there.”
Space. My heart accelerates even as my stomach drops.
“Of course. Yes. That makes total sense. Things have moved at warp speed anyway.”
He frowns as though he doesn’t understand what I’m saying.
“I’m not…I’m not pressing pause on us, Charlotte. I’m simply saying?—”
“Did the coffee help? You’re clearer-headed now.”
“What’s happening here, sweetheart?”
My ears ring. I’m panicking, that’s what’s happening. Perhaps it’s a slightly delayed reaction, but it is what it is.
How dare he say he loves me?
All the conflicting feelings in my head stab blankly in the dark for a target and land on slowing us down. We’re moving too fast, and it doesn’t faze him at all.
My phone pings, and I flinch, but I’m so thankful for the distraction that I race to pull it from my pocket.
Kara: Where are you guys?
Kara: I thought we were making dinner.
Kara: Should I start cutting the vegetables?
“It’s Kara.” Gratefulness seeps into my words at being graced with such an easy out. “I promised we’d make dinner together, remember?”
Me: We’re on our way now. I’ll be home in ten minutes.
Clutching my phone until my knuckles turn white, I place a practiced smile on my face. “Ready?”
Thane sits across from me, studying, analyzing, memorizing whatever the hell is happening with my expression.
When he stands, I breathe a little easier. Then he bends into my space, so we’re face-to-face.
“I will always do my best to be honest with you, Lottie, and I’ll be as open as I’m able about what I’m feeling. I’m a work in progress, but I’m trying. Give me the decency of the same in return.”
I stand on shaky legs as he examines the cash box, then slips in a roll of money. I have no idea how much, but I know it’s a hell of a lot more than my measly twenty bucks.
His hand reaches out, indicating I should go in front of him, and we exit the library in silence. I have no idea how this day spiraled so quickly.
