Page 106 of Heart Strings & Hotlines
“Mostly, yeah.” The last thing I want to do is tell my brother that my father is suing me. Elijah wouldn’t be able to help himself—he’d rush in like a white knight and get himself all twisted up in our father’s business again, and I’d never forgive myself for it. He’s spent his entire adult life building a career for himself, independent of our father. I can’t ask him to meddle because I’m not able to make the same clean break.
“Mostly?” Rowan waggles her brows at me. She’s completely ridiculous.
“Yes.” It comes out the way I imagine an eye roll would sound. “Mostly. Do you…do you think I’ll ever be capable of putting my trust into someone else? Or will my current world view always be tainted by what I know of my father?”
She puffs out her cheeks. “I didn’t know this was gonna be a bottle of wine kind of conversation, Lottie.”
I laugh at her attempt to keep things light, but my belly twists with an uncomfortable pang.
“I think…” Her voice takes on a contemplative edge to it. “That if you meet someone who makes you even want to consider letting them into your world, then you should take it. You’ve spent so long building your walls and proving to the world that you can do anything you set your mind to on your own, that you’ve landed on a tiny island with no way off. If someone circles your shore with a white flag, then maybe you should take the risk. You have so much more to offer than living life as a castaway.”
“What if I get hurt?” I sniffle, and Rowan softens her gaze.
“What if you don’t?”
What if I don’t?
“Are you sure you’re okay, Lottie?”
“Yeah, of course. I’ll be fine.”
“That’s not what I asked, and you know it.”
“Rowan?” A child’s voice sounds far away.
“Lottie? I’ve got to go. One of the kids has been pretty sick. Talk to you tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Sounds good.” I hang up, knowing that we won’t. Rowan is a wanderer. She never stays in one place too long. She doesn’t want to get attached, even in friendship.
It’s the only kind of friendship either of us has ever allowed. We always support, but we never dig very deep beneath the surface either.
And suddenly, that kind of relationship makes me feel worse than empty. It makes me feel lost.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE
THANE
“Let’s go, Wilder.”My head snaps up at Boone’s demand. He’s standing in Lottie’s doorway, and I didn’t even hear him approach.
“Where are we going?” I wake up my computer screen. I don’t remember seeing him on my calendar.
“We’re going to meet with my architect so I can get started next door. You’ve got some shit to pick out.”
Kara bounds down the stairs. “Can I come?”
“You want to go meet an architect?”
She stares at me, and I can hear the word “Brad” being dragged out in her mind.
“Yeah, Lottie said I might be able to ask for a book nook window.” Her cheeks pinken, and she stares at the ground.
“Is that what you want?” My heart beats an uncomfortable rhythm. Kara should have the world, but she’s still resistant to ask for what she wants.
She shifts her weight from foot to foot. “I saw some stuff on Pinterest that looked cool.”
I stand abruptly, accidentally knocking over my chair. I’ve been jittery as fuck since I stopped sleeping in Lottie’s room. The conversation about her hacker has been weighing on me too.
Should I have just come clean about integrating more security that will keep out my father and others without telling her? It seems like an unnecessary thing to worry her with. It’s not as though I’m actively in her cloud services anymore. I get alerts if someone breaches my security, and otherwise, I remain undetected.
