Page 10 of A Suitable Brat
Sun pulled his attention from Hely to study Westin, his spine rigid and his hands pressed hard to the tabletop.
“So it’s true?”he demanded.The heat was no longer under his words but a part of them.
Westin put out a hand to calm him without even knowing why he was upset.“What is?”
Sun took a shaky breath.“Weapons Master Chaus said you’ve been considering leaving the Outguard at last.”
Westin felt like a small, old fool at the hurt and fury in Sun’s eyes.
He swallowed, but in the end had to speak around the tension locking his throat.“I’m old for a guard, Sun.Winters are getting harder.Most leave by my age, or are thinking about it.You’re young, but you’ll see one day.”
“You’re leaving.”Sun’s tone was flat but his eyes said enough.“To do what?Oh.”He glanced around without focusing on any one thing.“To work here?”
Westin nearly choked.“What?”
“As a listener or whatever you might call yourself?Hely agreed you’d be good at it.”Sun found Hely again across the room, then cut off a snarl and turned his head away.“At least it’s warm in here.You’d never have to worry about that again.”
Sun could not be serious.
“I suppose I could work here.”Westin put some humor into his voice so that Sun would turn back to him.“Listening, hmm?Do you think that would be enough to live on?No one would pay me for anything else.”
“Fuck you.”Sun’s voice shook despite the venom.“You’re joking about it.You’re actually joking.You weren’t even going to stay at the barracks and teach?You were just going to leave?You were going to come in, probably say not a single fae-blessed word about this, and never be seen again?Just like that?”
“No.”Westin raised his voice.“No, I wouldn’t have.And it was never ‘just like that.’Do you think this is easy?”
Sun reared back then tossed his head.“Were you going to speak to me about it if I hadn’t found you here?You were going to vanish, weren’t you?You weren’t even going to tell me.”
“Sun.”Westin reached across the table but Sun snatched his hand away.“Sun, I would have told you.”
Sun crossed his arms.“You don’t have to pretend I was on your mind.You don’t need to be nice with me.”He squeezed his eyes closed.“Fuck.”
Westin raised his voice again and made it firm enough to smack sense into an angry brat.“I would have told you.”Each word was clear, even if Westin’s throat hurt with everything he hadn’t said.“It’s part of why I waited this long.I didn’t want to say…”
“I suppose you’ll get married next,” Sun interrupted, gaze suddenly very sharp.
“What?”Westin wasn’t used to arguing, which might have been why he was so lost.“I’m getting married?”He gestured to the air around him.“Wouldn’t I have been with such a person as I worried over this?Wouldn’t they be with me now?”
“Friends can share burdens too,” Sun insisted stubbornly.
“What has that got to do with it?”Westin demanded in return.“Speaking with friends is enough for me.”He had no idea what Sun’s muttered growls were about, but he gestured around him again, to the lovers who were not there.“I’ve no expectations to hand-fast with anyone.”That was obvious, or should have been.
Sun drew in a long breath, and as he let it out, it was as if his temper went with it.In its place was Sun smiling with teeth, leaning back to observe Westin with cool interest.
“Who is it you’ve got your eye on?Someone here?One of the other outguards closer to your age?Maybe you can retire together and become sworn guards to some noble who won’t give two shits about how caring you are.You wouldn’t be a palace guard, not you.You never even linger at the barracks, even when you need the rest.”
That was true.Westin only went into the palace proper when business demanded it.
“I am going to return home.”Westin knew better than to snap back at the brat when he was like this, and yet he was doing it anyway, probably shocking Hely all over again.“I am not planning on marrying,” he added through gritted teeth because what would have been a calm statement of fact only a few days before was now painful to say.“I don’t even have a regular lover.”
Sun’s eyebrows went high.His smile grew meaner.“You don’t?Howyoungand foolish of me to think you did.It’s all casual lovers then?Friends?”He nearly spat the word.
“What are you talking about?”Westin would have grabbed him and dragged him over the table if it would have made Sun make sense and not only crow triumphantly about prodding Westin into rash action.“If one of us at this table has a plethora of lovers, it’s you, not me.Whoever gave youthose, for example.”He started to jab a finger at the ear cuffs but then realized what he was doing.
Sun’s eyes were wide and shining.Vulnerable, Westin might have said.As soft as Sun’s suddenly trembling lips.
“Lovers,” Sun said quietly.“But not friends.Not like you, West.”
Westin was breathing hard and regretted it.“I didn’t mean to snarl at you.”He shook his head to banish the strange, stinging jealously that he didn’t like and had no right to have.“I’m sorry.I don’t want to ever treat you like that.”
