Oh no.
“The alliance, Khatak.” Her voice cracks on my name. “The whole reason you’re here. The very thing you somehow forgot to mention...” She gestures vaguely between us, color rising in her cheeks. “While we were...”
“Selene, I can explain?—”
“Can you?” She takes another step forward. “Because it’s pretty clear now. Every moment. Every conversation. Every time you looked at me like I was something special—it was all about getting close to Rist, wasn’t it?”
“No!” The word comes out too loud. I reach for her, but she jerks back. “No, that’s not—it wasn’t like that?—“
“You HID this from me.” Her voice rises.
“I didn’t—“ My defense dies in my throat.
“I thought you were different.” Selene’s voice has gone quiet now, which somehow hurts worse than the anger. “Transparent. Honest.” She laughs again, harsh. “I’m such an idiot.”
“You’re not?—“
“I let my guard down.” She’s talking more to herself now than to me. “I told myself I could trust you. That you were different from all the others with their hidden motives. But there’s always a hidden agenda, isn’t there? There’s always something.”
Because she’s right. She’s completely right.
The words hit like physical blows.
I did have hidden motives. And even if my feelings changed, even if everything I felt was real, I still hid this from her. I never told her the full truth. I did come here for the mission. That’s a fact. My family sent me to secure an alliance with Rist, and that was the only reason I got on the transport, the only reason I’m standing in this room. I wasn’t here for Halloween celebrations or human traditions or meeting beautiful females who make me forget everything else exists.
I was here for political maneuvering. For family duty.
And yet she still chose me… Didn’t she?
“What did I offer you?” The question slips out before I can stop it. Quiet. Defeated.
She blinks at me. “What?”
“What did I actually give you?” I set the comm device down carefully on the desk. My hands are shaking. “I’m not a warrior. I’m not successful.”
“Khatak—”
“The mission was supposed to...” I trail off. Supposed to what? Make me matter? Prove I could accomplish something? Give me a reason to exist?
Make me someone deserving of her.
The thought hits me sideways.
That’s what I believed, isn’t it? That I needed to achieve something—anything—before I could be someone worth choosing.
But I failed the mission. I chose to give it up for her, and now I have nothing. No alliance. No family approval. Noachievements to point to that might justify why someone like Selene would want someone like me.
If I’m offering nothing of value, then what was last night? What was any of it?
I’m not someone who deserves the kind of choice she made last night.
“So you admit it then.” Selene’s voice cuts through my spiraling thoughts. “I think you should leave.”
I look up. Her arms are still crossed, but her expression has shifted to something harder. More closed off. The warmth from last night is completely gone, replaced by the careful distance of someone who’s been hurt before and knows how to protect herself.
She’s already rebuilding her walls. Already shutting me out.
Good. She should.
